8th JULY 2012 KDCF Ride Report.
The usual suspects turned up for the morning meet point at the metal canopy. Counted 9 old geezers grinning at the start of the ride. It was raining on the early hours before the ride. Leader for the day, Krankster advised all riders to be cautious. Riding KDCF in the wet is never the smartest thing to do. Then again, a smart fella would have stayed in a warm bed instead of standing under a tree with mozzies swarming around surrounded by primates.
At the start point, we saw a bunch of hikers getting ready to do their hike. About 40 of them. This group looks really organised. They even have their own uniforms. All properly coordinated and dressed in the same green. Compared to them, we looked like a bunch of hobos. None of our riders had any colour is not clashing like the titans. I see riders dressed in green top and blue bottom. Yellow top and red bottom. A few is wearing fluorescent yellow. We looked like a circus really...
The hikers even have proper pre-hike briefing and warm up session before hikes. Lotsa Sweet Young Things limbering up and stretching their limbs. Bending over here and there.
Hmm...Turned around, looking at the group i am with makes my hair stand. I am surrounded by either endangered or protected species. Makes you wanna chuck the bike into the lake really. Suddenly hiking doesn't seem so lonely a sport after all.
With a heavy heart, off we went into the trail. Took us like 2 minutes to discover the Portugeese was missing. He used his bike as an excuse to go warm his bed again. Claims his chain is sucking or something to that effect. I saw him fiddling with it just before the start of the ride. Its easy to change your mind about playing in the mud with a bunch of old geezers when you have a warm bed waiting or after watching Sweet Young Things bend over.
So we were left with 8 to kill. Off we went...Trail is as wonderful as can be. Wet. Cool. Lotsa little climbs. Climb climb climb. Regrouping was done at the critical junction before the start of the downhill bits.
Out of the blue, one of the riders screamed out for help. He came out of the bush wearing a vine decorated with a million spiky thorns as a neck warmer. This guy had a line of little holes oozing blood out from his neck. CPR was offered. Rider declined. So we were left with no choice but attempt the caveman repair.
Farmer Danny had a gala time pulling out the thorns one by one. It's hilarious to watch a grown man twitch each time a thorn is pulled out. His legs twitched like a chicken getting its neck slashed. What's more disturbing to watch was Farmer Danny actually smiling gleefully each time a thorn is successfully retrieved. Even the Yellow Manta wanted in on the fun. Farmer Danny saved one thorn for the Manta to pull. Such camaraderie is rare to find these day and age. Commendable on the Farmer's part.
As we were finishing with the blood letting, Guinness announced he wanted to help Krankster grow more trees at the rear of his house. To the back of the house he went to help off load his own version of organic fertiliser at the rear of Krankster's home. The missus will be overjoyed to discover it when she awakes. Such good friends are hard to come by these days i tell you.
While waiting for the fertiliser to be spread out correctly, we heard a tree or a branch snapping loudly. Shocked we all were. We could see the canopy shaking all over. Krankster being the most senior guy for reference in KDCF claims it was one the wildlife.
A monkey he specifically said.
Wow... that's mighty impressive. We were not aware monkeys grow so big in KDCF as to topple trees. Better watch what we trample on from now ... Not 3 minutes later, Albert showed up looking like a wild boar. Poor guy crashed. Lost his front teeth. Got covered in leaves and mud. Fell into a tree and had no one to help him. On top of that, he has his so called friends calling him a primate behind his back... Tsk Tsk...
Downhill from there to the exit. No drama or any more name calling.
5 minutes break at the exit turned into a 30 minutes party. The Manta needed to feed. Farmer Danny was busy showing the best way to draw blood. Albert still unaware he was accused of being a monkey. In the end we somehow got so confused, we decided to go back to the car via the same route we came. I sometimes wonder how we end up doing this sort of nonsense...
So it was up the same downhill which now turns into an uphill. Death march begins... Ran into a bunch of Singaporeans. They were confused seeing a bunch of mud covered wheezing old geezers going the wrong way. They chose the smart thing to do. They decided to just let us be. So it was without drama till we got back to the car. No more apes or fertilisers.
Back at the car, the cycling group suddenly grew. 2 additional cyclist showed up. One came holding his pants. Another came foraging for food. The Korean came dressed proper for Sunday lunch. Shirt nicely tucked in. Left hand holding up his pants. Right hand free to do the communist hand waving. All Dot cared about was where we were going to eat...
To the banana leaf restaurant we went for post ride food. More cyclist showed up there. 2 more to be exact. Grumpy came with Princess Lena. They had a wonderful dream about cycling. Their dream was so vivid they had to come join us and do their post ride brunch as well. Grumpy did as he always does. He grumbled something to someone and went off to get his own roti canai. Happy Sunday indeed...
We had 9 riders. 1 went back to sleep. 1 tried to kill himself by having needle sharp thorns embedded in his neck. 1 tried to bring a tree down with his bike. Another contributed organic matter. 4 came with dreams of cycling... Bunch of clowns we all are ....Really.
PCC should really be called Pedalphiles Cycling Clowns instead. If you ask me.
Location: FRIM Kepong
Rendezvous Point @
07:30am
Start point and end point: Starting from Gan's factory
opposite Petronas petrol station after 3 traffic lights, look out for
"Heli" sign right outside the factory, plenty of parking space. End point
nearby Sri Cahaya International School.
Kiara Ride 2nd September 2012.
Last ride of the year started off with so much anticipation and hope for the coming 2007. There were 20 riders to begin with. This being the last ride of year 2006,everyone was in a friendly and social mood. The presence of the new ‘President’ also dictates that common courtesy and sense was the order of the day. Looking forward to new ideas,riding routes and changes seemed to be what everyone was tuning to this fine Sunday morning. New trail recce being the order of the day got everyone pretty pumped up. Off we went after what seemed like a pretty routine briefing. It didn’t take long to notice that the group was scattered all along the trail within minutes. Re-grouping at the junctions took longer than usual. Which gives us more time to socialize I thought. Not a bad thing. The usual chatter and admiration of bike, legs, helmets, water bottles…. Yadda yadda yadda. Well you can figure it out. Bikers are not known to speak about any other things besides those anyways. Its either bike talk or no talk. Unless of course if, any one poor soul decides to show the rest of the group how to slow the bike down using something else besides brakes. Otherwise its pretty routine Sunday trail chit chat. 
Next came the Deep Fried Tilapia with Petai Onions. This time around Princess Lena whom was seated next to me left no prisoners. Not for Chubby boy at least. Poor fish was ravaged before it could say hello to the Manta whom was seated 4 seats away. Grumpy could only watch. This was his Princess at work. I tried kicking Princess under the table. No chance... Never stand the way of a starving Princess with a petai fetish.
Next came the Steamed Malai Kai. Which translate to Steamed Skinny Shrunk Bulimic Jaundice Free Range Chicken. Say what you want. That's how it looked like to me. I offered it to Pushy. Pushy threw a smile at Grumpy. Grumpy waves his fork this time. Pushy continues to eat. This fellow eats anything you throw at him. Quite convenient if you really think about it actually. Its like having a mobile food dispenser. Grumpy was still trying to distract him with more name calling. Failed miserably. KY Jelly blinked for the n time. Bulldozer shifted in his seat.
The usual suspects turned up for the morning meet point at the metal canopy. Counted 9 old geezers grinning at the start of the ride. It was raining on the early hours before the ride. Leader for the day, Krankster advised all riders to be cautious. Riding KDCF in the wet is never the smartest thing to do. Then again, a smart fella would have stayed in a warm bed instead of standing under a tree with mozzies swarming around surrounded by primates.
So we were left with 8 to kill. Off we went...Trail is as wonderful as can be. Wet. Cool. Lotsa little climbs. Climb climb climb. Regrouping was done at the critical junction before the start of the downhill bits.
So it was up the same downhill which now turns into an uphill. Death march begins... Ran into a bunch of Singaporeans. They were confused seeing a bunch of mud covered wheezing old geezers going the wrong way. They chose the smart thing to do. They decided to just let us be. So it was without drama till we got back to the car. No more apes or fertilisers.
Kota Damansara Community Forest ( KDCF).
Meeting Point: In front of KSH TTDI