Ride Report Kiara...

Kiara Discovery ...
We all have different roles to play. Be it at work or at home. Seems most don't notice that this role playing also carries itself over to our hobbies. Sometimes we forget what role we were trying to attain. I know many in the cycling fraternity that are closet "Lance Armstrong" wannabes. A few wants to be "Richard Marx"... duh. Don't ask me why...
So. Last week's Kiara ride. The group decided to explore the long lost Kampung Trail. We have not been to this part of Kiara for years. It's a huge pity. Most of the original rails have been long reclaimed by nature. However, it was still fun riding down Janie's and Lightning Ridge. The Roller Coaster is still there with added attraction. A 50 foot sheer drop on the ride. You have a foot of walking ledge as you come along this bit. Miss one step, you get featured in the next day's newspaper.
It was also during this ride that i notice the many hidden character among the riders. Be it the Old Cocks or the Spring Chickens. It was really disturbing after you notice it. Creepy...

Cha Lat....

Gerard " Cha Lat":- He was the ride leader this time around. This is a closet Kim Jong Il. Out of nowhere, our friend decided to play the slave driver for this week. First , let's do the Office. We had 14 riders. Then Magic Carpet. Still 14 riders. Now lets climb Twin Peaks. We picked up 1 riders. Total riders 15. From the peak. Let's head towards Segambut. No, no, no.... keep right. No short cuts on the horse trails. Take a left up to Lightning Ridge. Still 15 riders. Now swing left towards Roller Coaster. Exit at the apartments. 15 riders. Ok you guys get to chew on Nasi Lemak. Done? Now proceed to Plan C. 2 riders started to weep at the rear. On the tarmac, 3 riders were asking to be put out of their misery. Come on now children!! Lets do the Boulder. 13 riders left. 2 sneaked off via equestrian club exit. Ok. Now lets go walk across the bridge at Wasteland. Bernard winced. Ok. march up towards Barracuda now. 11 riders. Back at the Kiara tarmac now. 3 riders had stomach ache. Bernard turned into a deaf pussy and gracefully rode away towards Crossroads. Ok boys, left turn into 2K! Exit 2K. Hey... !? 8 riders left. What's going on? Where is the rest? Never mind. Let's grab 4K reverse as we head down? Peter started taking deep breaths and patting himself...We exit at Magic Carpet climb up to reservoir ok? Nobody dared make a sound. Look we are back the tarmac again!! Whats say we cut across to Carnival and loop back to Office? I lost my hearing at this point. Pointed me bike down the tarmac. Sayonara...
Sorry mate. I am pretty sure being sent to an actual Gulag would have been less painful. Really. Riders were dropping like flies. Our friend "Cha Lat" must really want to be a Kim really badly. That is the only sane explaination.

 Turbo Gan:- This one is a no brainer. Turbo showed me his water bottle for this Kiara ride. He had with him a 350ml bottle. I was lost for word.
"You planning to do Kiara with just that ?!"
" Yep...."
"Do i have to help carry out dead old people nowadays?"
And truth be told, he did manage Kiara with that little bottle. Honestly, he was in pain at some part of the trail. Seems dehydration causes back pain. More specifically, kidney pain. Not to be confused with muscle spasm. Muscle wise , he was fine and dandy. Up till Lighting Ridge that is. From there on wards, he was no longer a kidney patient wannabe. He was just quiet and focused. I never would have suspected he wanted to be a Old Kidney Patient. Now, thats news even to me.


Yellow Manta:- This is the new improved version. Seems the Manta is now a Tai Chi Master. Besides doing the Watermelon moves and the Deep Breathing without Farting Technique. He has also mastered the art of getting blood to the groin area extremely well. This is especially helpful if you have been in the saddle for more than 3 hours. He did a free demo during our break at the cross road hut. Pay attention now.
Always choose a shaded spot. Spread your legs shoulder wide. Put your helmet and bags down at the side. Hands in front of you. Take a deep breath. With your good hand. Pat your nuts.

Turbo Gan 2:-Multiple character this one. Not happy with being just an Old Kidney Patient. He actually managed another role during the ride.Very schizoid. Me impressed. This was very discreet, you would have missed it. Unless you paid plenty of attention to it. We were all fooled after so many rides. But not me. I saw through it all. Seems that Turbo is not a shy and quiet person by nature. Him being quiet and discreet with a sage like smile. Familiar right? Thats what he wants you to believe. He was actually playing the Muhammad Ali role. Not the punching bit. More so the Parkinson's bit. Which explain him being quiet and focus on Lightning Ridge. Refer top please.

Princess Lena:-Well , there isn't that much to say. Lena is always the sweet smilling thing at the side.All fair and rosy with a ready smile. On Sundays, she wakes up grumpy. During the week, she lets him sleep.

Bernard :-With the appearance of a Princess, there will also be another character. Mind you, he is way too pretty to be compared to a frog. This is one of the Seven Dwarfs. Grumpy to be precise. Grumpy here is not happy when the ride starts at 7am. He is also not happy when the ride starts at 830am. He is also grumpy his bike is made from charcoal. He is even more unhappy when we start the ride without singing the national anthem. Grumpy. Ho Ho ho....Merry Christmas. Now start frowning.

Choi!!:-This was a huge revelation altogether. He actually admitted to it.By himself. We were all smilling.
To put things in perspective. Our friend here have been riding Kiara for donkey years. Rides the trails like a mountain goat. Goes dowhill like an ape on fire. Chatters nonstop about Kiara like a chimp. And he has never ridden Janie's. Or Clenched Sphincter's . Never heard of Lighthing Ridge. No idea about Roller Coaster. Ha.
In his own words upon reaching Devi's..." Yikess...! I am so JAKUN!!!. That part of Kiara was awesome. How come no one took me there before? When are we going back there again? Wow..."
Jakun is spot on. :P
This have been an interesting ride in a long long time. Having a communist ride leader whipping you about. Trying to make decent conversation with a dehydrated Parkinson's patient. And watching riders drop like flies in a desert.Watching Choi!! shriek like a little girl going down Janie's.
Nice.... Cant wait for Sunday to come again.