Here we go...
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| Calm before the storm. |
So we decided to head off to the trail head which is another 30 clicks away.
Arrived at the fish pond for the start of the secret ride. Feeling a wee bit deflated really. How much can you say to the same 4 person for the next 5 hours i wonder. This is gonna be really depressing i dare say. All 5 of us looked at each other in silence. Total combined age of a woolly mammoth. Jesse mumbled something. We all shook our head. This is gonna be painful. Oh boy....
Then without warning, the rest of the herds started appearing out from the bushes.
There is a god after all...
Manta managed to finally smile and farted in relief. Tailook stopped sweating. He was super worried that no one would show up. Saw him frantically calling up riders from all over. His school mates. Church mates. Kindie mates. Desperation makes a man operate differently. Especially if you are the ride leader and no one shows up for your secret ride. I would have turned green if i was in his shoes...
Counted about 26 riders. All ready for the secret secret ride which Tailook have planned. No briefing done because this was a secret ride. No headcount because this was a secret ride. And we had to take off in separate batches so as not to arouse suspicion. This was a secret ride after all... Group broke into 4 splinter groups and took off towards the actual trail head located about 8 clicks away.
Tarmac crunching for the next 8 clicks. No one spoke. This was a secret ride. You are supposed to be silent and stealthy. Arrived at the trail head proper and waited for the entire herd to arrive.
While waiting for the last splinter group to arrive, Kompressor asked how long was the actual trail we are riding today. Tailook took a deep breath and walked towards Kompressor.
" See what i am wearing today? It is called a single layer lycra. There is no padding whatsoever. I am in commando mode today. Can you see? Take a good look. Now listen. Today's trail is a secret trail. No questions. Just ride. Don't ask silly questions. Now take a good look again... I can assure you 100% that i am feeling very windy and loose today . Just ride. ok?"
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| View from the top. |
Though Guinness would disagree. He seemed pretty pleased with his camel that day. Choi! was a fan. 23 voted for the bird. 1 voted for the camel. May was and remains confused till today. But that is Choi! problem.... Good luck. We are here for the ride and nothing else in between.
Last rider arrived. Into the trail we went.
The ride lasted a little more than 5 hours. Plenty of screaming, hair pulling, cursing, crying and lotsa blood spilled. Lost one rider at the first hill. A few riders was so badly discouraged by the trail condition that they started kicking things.One almost lost his toe nail. A few challenged their femur to a fist fight with the local tree stumps. Another rider even threaten to commit harakiri. Slashed himself on the chest to show how serious he took his threat.
Manta as usual was on standby just in case things gets out of hand. Jacky and Alvin tightened up their shoelaces for the CPR procedure if harakiri was indeed executed. Jacky made sure the cleats on his shoes was properly centered. He didn't want to miss the sternum. You try practising CPR using just your foot and you will realize how difficult this is. Especially if you are left handed and you need to use your right foot for the chest compression. On top of that, you still needed to count and make sure each compresssion is firm and solid. Not easy my friend...
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| Harakiri attempt. |
Unfortunately, harakiri was abandoned at the final moment. PeteW was sorely disappointed. He was already on the phone for the box. He was torn between choosing natural plywood or corrugated cardbox. Having to stop him halfway was torture. Poor man was in grief.
" How can you rescind from performing harakiri?!... That is not right. I was looking forward to it..." argued PeteW.
Had to hold the man up for a good 5 seconds. Agony to watch really....
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| Choi! staring at Guinness's camel. |
At the cross junction after the nth climb, Aunty Annie threatened to strangle Ivan Basso. Ivan Basso gave Tailook the evil eye. Tailook showed Ivan his birdie. Wow, they are beginning to turn on each other now. This is getting out of hand. Looked to Guinness for advise. The man was busy watering his camel. Left him alone with his camel. Choi! peeked from the back of May.
Bicycleman for the first time in his life actually decided to walk his bike. Seeing that, we were lost for words. The heat is getting to everyone.
All of us decided it was probably better to let them be and continued watching the drama. CH continued playing with his saddle and his little toy. May said something in Hakka. Choi! came running. VC took the 37th selfie of the day. WC tried his best to stand up. May burped. Choi! came running. Hanz kept staring at the bird.
This is amusing i thought... Can't help but smile to myself. Almost like watching Minions go on a rampage in a church. "like"
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| Simon and his camel. |
Tailook clearly reminded us of this at the beginning of the ride. Hence the reason why he was in single layer lycra that day. Hanz did not take Tailook's threat seriously and decided to challenge him. The fight was short and fast. Hanz's little finger lost. Tailook's birdie took a bite out of Hanz's finger. I have never witnessed a fight so fast and furious. When a man threatens you with his birdie, by god please take it seriously...
The end of the ride came at 1430 hours. It was a solid 5 hours of total roasting time on the trail. Lunch and beer at the local fishing pond. No one died this week....
Un'believable....
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