SETIA ALAM Ride 8th Feb 2015

SETIA ALAM Ride 8th FEB 2015

Ride Details:
Date: 8th February 2015
Meeting Point: Modern Mamak, Jalan Setia Dagang AJ U13/AJ, Setia Alam
Time: 0745 hours
Distance: 20km +
Ride Description: A loop of 20km +- of mostly XC riding over undulating terrain, some under tree canopy and some exposed. Expect some hike-a-bike sections.
Suitable for all levels of riders as long as you have the stamina and fitness to last the distance. 
Things to bring: 3 liter water pack. Favourite trail food. Sunblock and usual riding gear.

Lunch Report 1st February 2015.

Lunch at KDCF Section 9 Toilet.

Date: 1st February 2015

Meet Point : Section 9 KDCF Toilet

Time: 1200hours

Contact Person : Krankster Yong the Bum

Food Glorious Food...!!!

   Lunch Description: Last Sunday was an invitation only lunch fest at KDCF. You need an invitation for the first lunch of February 2015. There were a few conditions attached to the lunch. No such thing as free lunch even in PCC. 

   Firstly, you need to get invited to it. Very hush hush affair. Location only disclosed on Saturday.

   Secondly. you need to ride into the jungle and stay with the main pack to find the hidden food cache.

Feeding time.

   Thirdly, you will need to stay and keep up with the main bunch to actually get access to the food. Front runners were not even aware of how many food stops we had. Mind you, the trail was almost 30km long. But in actual fact was merely 13km total. Next, you need to eat each time its declared a stop for food. Regardless whether you are hungry or not. First stop was at Section 10 rest area. Apple stop for the old folks to keep their sugar level up. Much easier to let them crawl back on their own rather than to hand carry them the rest of the way. Pretty logical idea really. Carrying an unconscious old man on a Sunday morning is not exactly and exciting thing to do eh? Next stop was at UNITY Trail halfway point. Ride in with the Bum and you get one round of Teh Tarik and Nasi Lemak. All these will be served to you by 3 pretty ladies dressed up in full camouflaged attire. How is that for a simple lunch in the trail?

Kenny explaining why he was behind.

After the exotic lunch, you are required to ride your warm belly filled with sambal back to Section 9. No stooping anywhere to offload.  You have to hold it all in till you return to the car park for lunch proper. You are given 6 minutes to digest the sambal.  Curry Chicken stall was already properly set up at Section 9 toilet as we arrive. Yummy.... The last time i ate beside the toilet was easily 30 years ago. In primary school. Feels kinda good to be reminded that i need to behave myself or its back to eating by the toilet again. And i wish i was taller then. I am pretty sure i can punch the disciplinary teacher in the nuts if he ever makes me eat by the toilet ever again. Now the current thoughts was... " What did i do this time?! How come it's back to eating by the toilet again...?" Then came the drinks. I counted 4 cooler boxes being unloaded. Here we go again....This is going to end up with another round of old people singing half baked songs from the 60s. And lotsa old men hugging each other, complementing themselves on how good they look for their age. Then more hugs will follow and somehow. It's somebody's birthday again. Be still my beating heart....

Curry Chicken:
As usual. To die for. Never ever doubt Judy's cooking. Look at Alberto. All round and prosperous. Judy must be doing something right somewhere. It's no wonder Alberto is always grinning.

Sliced Cucumber:
Another exotic dish from Miss Miri 1984. She has some skills this one. She somehow managed to cut the cucumber into some many different shapes using just a rusty old Swiss Army knife. Never doubt this one as well. She somehow managed to convince 30 hungry riders that sliced cucumber is also a meal all by itself.
Sambal:
   From Miss Baram 1986. Apparently you are supposed to eat this all by itself using only your fingers. A  few tried and agreed. I am doubtful though, Miss Baram did not tell them that they were supposed to chew off their fingers along the way.
Funny Dates with Salt:
   Another round of exotic food offered by Mrs Kuching 1999. Local delicacy from East Malaysia. Dark red looking fruit. Thin meat and practically tasteless. Not sour like an olive but texture is similar to it. Afew monkeys tried and actually enjoyed it. One monkey didn't agree to it. Claims the taste is weird and takes a bit of getting used to.

Deep Fried.

A box of Limau Nipis:
   I spotted this sitting on the table. I suspect it's there to help treat any cuts or open wound suffered. No one utilized it at all. Pity. Would have been tasty i think.
One Brown Mini Pinscher:
   Time restriction failed us on this dish. Judy simply did not have sufficient time to prepare this one. Otherwise, deep fried Pinscher would have gone down well with the toddy i believe.
Drink List:

Pete holding up tree with Qigong.

Guinness Stout from Simon. Compliments of GAB. It really is quite useful to have a ride buddy that is able to steal drinks from office. Makes its ever so convenient to have one for the road each time you actually do finish a ride. Thanks Simon.
Marlborough White Wine from Peter Wong. Nothing can stop this one from having his drinks with his friends. Kick him in the nuts if you must. He will suck it in and have his wine. Never mind the pain. We will find the missing nuts after we finish the wine. No worries there mate'.
Mojito from Dorothy Baya / Miss Miri 84' / Miss Baram 86' / Mrs Kuching 99'. Even with her recent spine injury. Nothing will stop this one from her having her drinks with her buddies. Never mind the fact that she is actually a golfer not a mountain biker. "Itu semua tak penting...Minum dulu. Don't panic...."
Mosquito Repellent from Krazy KC. You know times are bad when a CEO has to come out on Sunday to sell Mosquito Repellent by the toilet. I kid you not. The repellent is not cheap. And the poor fella even had to drive his Alphard to location just to help convince you the repellent works. Well, to be fair. He did remind us that we are not to spray it into our mouth. Regardless how thirsty we get.

Lunch queue.

  Heineken Beer from Peter Wong. Did i mention his balls earlier? Well, same thing. Same balls as well. Hold in the pain till the drinks run out. Good man this one. Alcohol does numb out some sensation i was told.
   Toddy from the Klang fella. Seems most people enjoyed this. Many comments on how refreshing it was. How bubbly it tasted. How intoxicating it gets you. Gives you a buzz after a few cups of it. Arguments on which taste better, with or without Guinness. What i don't understand is this....
   Why you guys kept calling it "Toddy" ? The shop i bought it from clearly had KEDAI DOBI KUMAR stated on it's signboard.



Conclusion:
   Did i mention we did a bit of riding before lunch?  Trail was superb. Dry and challenging. Ask KC and VC. They would agree. Yong the Bum did an excellent job carving out the trail with his team of elves. Turnout for the ride was even better than expected. We had more than 30 riders at the start point. Somehow, that 30 riders got broken into a few packs. All i saw was the same old goats. The rest of the riders were either too far ahead or gave up on us and turn back.

Awaiting Rosmah's arrival.

Rear view Dot.

   Unfortunately, a few casualty did occur during the ride. Handsome Hanz challenged his truck to a headbutting contest. Truck won. Hanz came off with a plaster on his head. Next fight will be scheduled for this coming Sunday. Come watch Hanz headbutt his rear bumper again.
  Broken Lisfranc Joint. KC was unable to ride due his mid foot being injured. But somehow he manages to drive his black van to each and every lunch invite. Tough one this fella. Would travel for food.
   Slammed nuts. Peter Wong was doing a Hanz impression. He wanted to test his nuts against his head stem.  Twice. Head stem won. Both times Peter came out losing the fight. Poor guy. Nobody offered to help check his injury. We did try searching for the lost nut on the forest floor though. No chance. Everything on the ground was either brown or shrivelled up. No way we are gonna be able to find something so well camouflaged.
Unbelieveable...

Wildlife in KDCF.

Ulu Slim Ride and Camp 24th and 25th January 2015

Self Supported Ride and Camp.
Date: 24th and 25th January 2015
Meet Point: Rawang R&R North Bound NKVE
Time: 0730 hours
Distance: 15km offroad
Contact Person : Adrian Chan 012 213 2188 /  Yellow Manta 012 227 4443

Ride Description: First Ride and Camp of the year.And the bunch of hippies have decided to head towards Ulu Slim for a short and quick one. As with tradition, it's self supported all the way. Simply put, you are what you carry. Bring everything on you own. As long as you can tie it on to the bike or your limbs. Anything goes.
   There will not be any 4x4 sweeping from the back as you ride in. If you are the last rider. That really means your are the LAST rider. So it would make sense to plan your load and food rations properly. Trail is well guarded by the local villagers. They will actually seal the gate at night to prevent any intruders from entering. Which is a good thing. And a parking fee is applicable at the trail head. Camp site is a short 15km ride from the trail head. With relatively flat trail, only the last bit will require a wee bit of whip cracking to get in to the camp site. Camp site is fairly large with lotsa space to spread out for camp. So no need to sharpen the parang for this trip.
   The guys are hoping the regular 4x4 boys will not show up at the same camp site. Otherwise, the camp site might get a bit cramped and noisy. The 4x4 boys usually will bring in a generator, a fridge, welding machine, 2 suckling pigs and probably 6 barrels of beers. So let's keep our fingers crossed.
   See you on Saturday for another weekend of mud...!!!

18 JAN 2015 Broga Ride Report

Date: Sunday 18 Jan 2015

Venue: Broga

No of riders: About 30

Ride distance: 20km+

Weather: Breezy and cool.

   This ride is supposed to have been one to host some guest riders from Singapore but who had a change of mind subsequently. Dead set on a guest ride, our brand new never-say-die Vice Prez Tailook aka Adrian Chan Chee Kiat took it upon himself to scout for other guests and lo and behold, a big bunch of nice people from Puchong become our guests this morning. Seems they have never ridden in Broga before and are eager to check out all those lovely singletracks that everyone has been raving about.

 

   PCC last had its Presidential Ride in Broga in 2011. This morning’s loop will overlap with a part of that before veering off to cover those trails set by KLMBH in their last hash there.

   Days earlier at The Tavern celebrating the appointments of Krankster Yong and Tailook as PCC Prez and VP respectively, Taikor James of Kajang fame who was going to lead the ride had promised an orgy of hills. If not for anything, just to torture those Singaporean dudes! But more importantly, to show them how strong our lady riders here are, with the likes of Mei Mei, Hua Hua, Lan Lan and Ching Ching. Oops, wait. Ching Ching is our most improved rider of 2014 and he is male, female name notwithstanding. But read in full, his name is all manly - Jason Tan Cock Ching. Oops again, I mean Tan Kok Ching.

   Anyway, to cut a long story short, with the big crowd, Taikor James on a test-ride 29r Specialized deems it not suitable to ride the big hills anymore. More so when our Tailook hasn’t had a wink of sleep last night after taking a pretty China doll out for supper till the wee hours. Which explains why this morning he throws paper at all the wrong places. Which had us sweepers having a hard time figuring which route the frontrunners are headed. Once, Ivan-san and I were happily bombing down a sweet singletrack with a couple of switchbacks only to be called to turn around…..arggghhh!

   The orang asli huts remain a very attractive Kodak moment for all riders, especially our Puchong friends. So it made sense to have a group shot taken here.

    A really long climb on a singletrack follows next. Luckily it was dry and with a very cool breeze blowing all the time, the climb-cum-push became quite bearable. But still at the top of it, Unker Kangkang aka Danny Fam dictates that we should take the next nearest route to lunch! Can’t keep Fai Fai aka Choy Choon Fai waiting for us at the pan mee stall. Taikor obliges and we take the short way to the final descent down to Kg Kapal and back to the cars at the Chinese temple.

Hua Hua carbo loading before the ride.

   But this is when our resident mid-sweeper-cum-whiskey expert Pete Wong says pan mee is too much carbo, Fai Fai waiting notwithstanding. Better to go somewhere where Tailook can buy us beer to continue with our celebration of his appointment. So we ends up at Restoran Brogla for a good meal of fish and more fish and chicken and egg foo yong. Thanks again, Tailook for the beer.

   See you guys this weekend at Ulu Slim for our first Ride-n-Camp of the year!

Ride Report courtesy of Yellow Manta.

18th January 2015 BROGA Ride.

Ride Details:-

Date : 18 January 2015

Meet Point: Cheras Batu 7 Tol Gate or Broga Chinese Temple

Time: 0730hours

Distance: 30kms
Contact Person: Adrian Chan 012 213 2188

Trail Tips: Long 30 kms of hills and climb. Ride will be led by the local boy James Lim. Supported by newly elected M&D Ride Director Adrian Chan. Looking at the weather, it will be a hot and dusty ride. Bring lotsa water and tid bits to chew on. Unless you enjoy chewing your fingers, its probably best to bring something edible.
   After ride food will be served at Choi!! personal stall. Spicy pan mee served with really sour assam drink. Extra serving if you are fluent in Hakka and really like sweaty Hakka Maidens.

Revival of a blind 3 legged dinosaur. Part1...

Carbo loading at its best.

The flaccid return of a relic....
   After being led into forced hibernation since April 2013, we are now being tasked to revive this old and pretty much dead forgotten dinosaur. How do we go about this exactly? Having lotsa Guiness and Strongbow to lubricate the cogs seems to help things move along.
   Alcohol does amazing things to old donkeys. Makes them all motivated and full of energy. If you have ever seen a drunk moose, you would know exactly what i mean. Not exactly a proud subject to boast about but watching a drunk moose trying to convince another drunk moose is pretty entertaining. Having another moose repeating "2 up, 2 up, 2 up...." to everything the first moose is saying seems to help raise the entertainment value by a few degrees.
   And please do not try to decipher "2 Up". You will need free flow of alcohol,  quit your job, go on a low carb diet and enjoy digging up dirt with a fork to even remotely comprehend it.
   Back to the serious bit. Its a new year.The same old donkeys still remains on the same team. Still not having any success at recruiting more sweet young things to come on the team. The only people we managed to recruit by far are either close to being senile, balding, closet gays or have some sort of disability somewhere. We are pretty much screwed i say.....
   Things were different when i first stumbled upon this group back in year 2000. Meeting Krankster for the first ever ride in Kiara. I was hooked. And i refused to leave even after being called names and threatened with saliva.
   Meetings and discussions were held in bright wholesome place. Macdonald's Bandar Utama was the mecca then. Starting point to Sungai Buloh was also at Macdonald's. Clean and safe. You didn't have to disinfect your hands after the meeting. Or get a blood test afterwards.


Nowadays....

Faces have been darkened to protect their identity.

   Iced Coke has given way to Kilkenny's. French fries have been traded for 4 weeks old muruku. No more happy sunny songs being sung, only half baked old folks songs are being heard shouted by half deaf goats. Meeting location is always a hush hush subject and will only be revealed hours beforehand. Very clandestine and dark. If you get lost trying to get to the location, don't call asking for help. You are better off going home and blame the dog for the car acting up. How much we have progressed and changed...   God help us all.



Where did we go wrong?

   So for the coming year. Let's make a list of things to achieve and over achieve if possible.
List of wants for 2015:-
1- More Miri Laksa.
2- Attend Happy Hours in dodgy pubs with lotsa overweight Vietnamese waitresses.
3- Learn Vietnamese.
4- More Curry Chicken.
5- Always smile and shake Judy's hands.
6- Get clearer X Ray pictures to view and compare.
7- Conduct meetings in Tavern GAB.
8- Convince Choi that goats are really cute and fluffy.
9- Convince Mei that Choi really likes goats.
10- Make a list of heart revival pills to carry during rides.
11- Keep track of how many times Bork falls sick.
12- Always thank Judy for food.
13- Remind Tailook that foldies are kiddy bikes NOT real bikes.
14- Do some rides in between the drinking and eating if possible.
15- Practice speaking Vietnamese diligently.
16- Go moose watching somewhere.

Here's to Free Drinks...

Un'believeable...




 

7th April 2013 Semenyih Recce

7th April 2013 Recce cum bust around ride Semenyih.

AutoDot

   This was what we ended up with...

 That basically sums up what riding with the old donkeys have become. We have now resorted to making a girl wear a mask just to make the rides more enjoyable and fun.

  The ride started off well enough actually. 10 made it to the meeting point. 12 was available at the start point. We had to do a bit of off road driving for about 2 clicks before actually arriving at the starting point. Yep. The trick nowadays is to drive right up to the trail head. We were 20 meters from the trail head. It used to be the other way around. Back then, we will park as far away possible and make the troop ride the extra mile to the start point. It's a downward spiral now. Old age makes you improvise i suppose. I was somewhat disappointed though, that they didn't find a spot with more trees and a cafe with china dolls serving coffee and whatnot's. That might have even made Grumpy smiled on a Sunday morning. A titanic effort but a worthy effort nonetheless.

  Anyhoo... Off we went. Up the silly old hill that is always the basis of anyone questioning their mental state. No one was in a chatty mode for 30 minutes as we attempt to walk up the hill. Only at the hut did we managed to save some amount breathe to churn out some sort of hellos and hi. Waited for KY Jelly to arrive before we took off again. PCC never leaves anyone behind. Even if you are overweight,sweaty and slow.

  Next it was a march through the trail. Trails that were once pristine now looks like a scene from Borneo's Dead March. Fallen trees, dead falls... lotsa spiky bits here and there. It was a disaster. We had no choice but to bash through with Taiko Lim and Guiness leading the way. Was i glad i was right behind KY. Well protected from the elements as i drafted him through the bush. No pointy spikes to worry about. Had to break some old deadfalls. Zach attempted to chop a tree with his pen knife. Victor tried his best to convince Zach it was a worthwhile attempt. Zach went at it till me and Manta put a stop to it. Victor was very pleased with his convincing skills. Watch this one... Very sneaky this geese we have in our midst.

  Out of the bushes within minutes. 40 minutes to be precise. Took a short break at the bridge. Then it was a downhill blast towards the village for the start of the climb towards Bitch Hill.

  This was where it got interesting for me.

  Happily riding down and enjoying the view. Saw a dark flying object from the corner of my eye. Yikess...!!  Rode straight into the bee. Unhappy bee decided to show me his ass. Took one in the ear. Pain shot through my ears. Hands off the handlebar. Mistake number 2. Handlebar twisted. Up and over.Off i went into the bush. Tumbled a bit. Everything flew. Water bottle. Bike. My fragile ego. Did i mention water bottle? I had fresh orange juice in it.

  Along came KY. Rather conveniently i thought. How come he shows up at this point of time? Anyway, will deal with that later. Tai Look raise his head from behind KY.

"Pat. What cha' doing there in the bush ?"

 I was busy swatting my ear like a monkey drenched in petrol. Can't talk now. Hang on. Will be with you in a bit. KY? He was happy just being present then. His only dissapointment was not having a match to light the monkey up.

" Bee sting? Let's get out off here....Don't sit there and play. Let's go...It's not safe. We better hurry up. Quick quick...!!Leave the bottle. The bike is Titanium right? Ok. That you can take. Leave the rest!! Quick ...!!"

  Off we went. With some urgency after hearing what Tai Look had to say. KY was still grinning. Rather strange i thought.

  Met Choi!! at the bottom and showed him my swollen ear to redeem for an anti histamine pill. Choi!! took a strip of pills from his bag and offered it. The label on the blister pack says "XENICAL". Strange name for anti histamine pill. I only remember Zyrtec. This must be new in the market. You should trust your friends right?

  Caught up with the rest of the pack at the bottom of Bitch Hill. Apple break for Pete. Ya da ya da...up the hill we went. More like up the hill we all walked. Man... that is one long walk. Regroup done at the peak and the group decided to call it a day. Took the back way back towards the car. Downhill was another bitch. I have never seen that much rocks and bricks strewn all over a trail before. What was once a pristine single track has been turned into a broken tarmac in the middle of nowhere. Pity...

  Off to lunch of Curry Mee we went with Taiko Lim leading the way in the Yellow Manta. Another round of off roading in Kajang. Seems the famous Curry Mee is to die for. According to KY at least. He was talking about it the entire morning. Must be good i thought. Me. I am a sucker for any sort of good food. So with much excitement we went in search of it.

Note to self for future reference:-

1. Do not ride into a bee. Heck! Don't ride into ANY bee. They do not like it.
2. Find out how KY was able to coordinate and convince the bee to put one up to me. Even if KY won't admit to it. " I got my eyes on you KY "
3. Never have an insurance agent present during a crash. He makes you run for your life even if you are in no danger of any sorts. These are well trained people.
4. Do not take any medical advise from a Portugese. The old Geese in the group offered to cut my ear off in order to reduce the swelling. He claims that's how it is done in Mozambique. And he was dead serious. He even took out his knife. I feared for the worst. AutoDot standing beside me was rooting for blood to spill.
5. A huge thank you to Taiko Lim for recommending the tasty Curry Mee in Kajang. I thought it tasted and looked like Chicken Rice. But hey... i may be wrong. I was stung by a bee. My logic may have been clouded...

This is called Curry Mee in Kajang