So we went back to Kiara again this Sunday. The Hash guys organised a night run on Saturday. A few went, most stayed home. Borky came back drenched like a SPCA puppy that was accidentally left out when they shut the gate. We heard they went swimming in Sungai Long. Then got drunk on 30 liters of bedroom brewed craft beer courtesy of Benji. The rest refused to say what actually happened. We were to scared to probe further.
So Kiara it was.
Woke up to a lovely wet cool Sunday. This will either be a blast or someone is gonna get stuck on a tree or end up in the ravine somewhere. Let's go i say... On on.
Rode up to bike wash. Waited. The herd trickled in slowly. The usual suspect. Counted about 20ish fellas that was still yawning and scratching away while waiting for ride to commence. Old Manta came by grinning. Today was a free for all ride. We have no leader. We have no sweeper. We have no plans. We have no ride details. We ride till 11ish. That's as close to Brew House opening their door for business. We will use that as a benchmark. Can someone keep track of the time so we do not end up being too thirsty? Please cooperate and set Brew House location as the designated wayward point.
So for the last time. The bail out point would be Brew House right across KSH. If anyone loses their way, please make your way to Brew House. Let's be clear on this so we do not end up going around in circles searching for lost souls. Everyone nodded obediently. VC sent a thumbs up icon in Whatsapp group.
Ok. We are good to go.
As usual, walk up towards Office. Then Coronary out to tarmac. Regrouped the herd at the entrance of Magic Carpet. Did the usual pretending to chit chat while ogling at the lycra clad ladies strolling up and about. Winked at a few. Stared mostly... After awhile, the group picked itself up and rode off quietly. Into Magic Carpet heading towards Circle.
Queued and a few decided to wing it. Since it was already announced earlier that we had no designated ride route today. The gullible few decided to take a short cut and a leap of faith. Thanks to words of encouragement from Old Manta of course. These fellas rode down the enduro cut. All made it down in one piece. Ming did not curse today. He only mumbled something in Singlish which we could not intrepret. Rode on towards Circle.
Waited at the top of Circle. I waited and waited.... I got bored of waiting. Left and joined the rest of the FRB at the tarmac. Turns out Old Manta was having a gala time taking videos of gullible Aunties attempting to ride downhill. One bounced down elegantly. Another rode halfway, changed her mind and decided to run instead. CH did what all good mountain biker would do in the event of a bail out. He ran forward and caught the bike. Bike was unscathed. Good fella that one. We were all grateful the bike was unblemished and scratched. We wouldn't know how to react had CH not grab the bike before it landed on the muddy roots. CH was under tremendous pressure to not fail his responsibility as a right and proper mountain biker.
Another round of chit chat at the tarmac. Then it was into 2K before the herd emerged at the Cross Road to do the usual posing and bike ogling. Waved to a few fellas. Complimented each other on how good looking we all look today. The usual pleasantries. Molested a few 30k bikes unashamedly. Complimented the bike of course. No idea who the owners were but hey... The bikes were the right shade of turquoise and yellow.
Then it was up towards Tokong.
It was a slow and sticky climb up.
Arrived at Tokong to catch the Rastaman trying to catch air for his dreadlocks. Wet dreads are pretty slimy i guessed. The dude was trying hard to dry his dreads. Hard work this is.. Took some videos. Nobody obliged to crash. No Youtube upload this time.
Away we went. Pure Quill and Sidewinder next. Tried my best to ride it through. Only hit the left side of the nuts as i dropped into the rocky section. Right side was ok. CH complimented me on not hitting both nuts. That would be shameful. Old Manta patted me on the shoulders, it's ok. As long as nothing fell out you are ok. And make sure you go check in to the hospital later if you start feeling feverish. The last fella that did that had to eat Javanese rice for a week.
All managed to wing it cleanly. No casualties except for me left nut. Into Wasteland we went. Regrouped at the tarmac. Apple break.... I walked off to check the right nut. All is good. No fever just yet.
Then it was decided that the main herd would go scout and survey Playmates and Plan C while a few will stay at the tarmac and make sure nobody crosses over to Brew House too early.
It was a cool chatty 20 minutes wait. While waiting for the herd, Aunty 13 ate everything in sight. She had 2 buns. Nuts. Nangka. Buah Kana. Coke. Fried Potato Fritters. And she said she was still hungry. We had to stop her when she started walking towards the resident chimp. The chimp was chewing on something. We weren't sure who would win in the event of a hair pulling contest. Aunty 13 is only slightly taller than the chimp. But the chimp has home ground advantage... Against our better judgement i offered her Oily's scrawny fingers to chew on. Aunty 13 took a look and said she will wait till she got to Brew House. The chicken there not so salty and skinny wor.... Aunty 13 is a not a fan of free range chicken.
The herd returned. Back towards the Wall and regrouping at the pondok to do a time check. We didn't want to appear too desperate and be caught standing in front of Brew House before they actually open for business. What would the pretty Pinoy waitress think of us? It would be shameful. And desperate looking. Must maintain some form of dignity. Even if the beer is RM 8 a mug. Me? I just wanted to polish up on my Tagalog.
Pondok time check.
We have another 30 minutes to spare. It was decided we will head into 2K and do a reverse Magic Carpet run towards Brew House. If Old Manta's calculation was correct, we should be right on the dot. So off we went. Into 2K.
Caught the entire herd at the tarmac. Straight into Magic Circle we went. Down and across the wooden bridge. Short spurt up towards the fence. Rode down into the dry river bed and came upon CT going into artificial labour. CT wanted to experience child birth in nature. CT decided to lie down. CT spreaded his legs and started screaming. And pushing. I helped push his legs. Edward helped to record the entire episode of natural child birth. Lina came by, took a look. Made a snorting sound and left us. It was disappointing. Nothing came out after minutes of pushing and recording. We wasted time and data.
The herd arrived at Brew House right on the dot.
The Pinoy waitress just finished tying her hair.
VC arrived at 3:00.
Ming started grabbing his own hair at 3:45.
The herd left Brew House at 5:00.
Riding Kiara is thirsty hard work.
Un'beliveable
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