Lunch Report 1st February 2015.

Lunch at KDCF Section 9 Toilet.

Date: 1st February 2015

Meet Point : Section 9 KDCF Toilet

Time: 1200hours

Contact Person : Krankster Yong the Bum

Food Glorious Food...!!!

   Lunch Description: Last Sunday was an invitation only lunch fest at KDCF. You need an invitation for the first lunch of February 2015. There were a few conditions attached to the lunch. No such thing as free lunch even in PCC. 

   Firstly, you need to get invited to it. Very hush hush affair. Location only disclosed on Saturday.

   Secondly. you need to ride into the jungle and stay with the main pack to find the hidden food cache.

Feeding time.

   Thirdly, you will need to stay and keep up with the main bunch to actually get access to the food. Front runners were not even aware of how many food stops we had. Mind you, the trail was almost 30km long. But in actual fact was merely 13km total. Next, you need to eat each time its declared a stop for food. Regardless whether you are hungry or not. First stop was at Section 10 rest area. Apple stop for the old folks to keep their sugar level up. Much easier to let them crawl back on their own rather than to hand carry them the rest of the way. Pretty logical idea really. Carrying an unconscious old man on a Sunday morning is not exactly and exciting thing to do eh? Next stop was at UNITY Trail halfway point. Ride in with the Bum and you get one round of Teh Tarik and Nasi Lemak. All these will be served to you by 3 pretty ladies dressed up in full camouflaged attire. How is that for a simple lunch in the trail?

Kenny explaining why he was behind.

After the exotic lunch, you are required to ride your warm belly filled with sambal back to Section 9. No stooping anywhere to offload.  You have to hold it all in till you return to the car park for lunch proper. You are given 6 minutes to digest the sambal.  Curry Chicken stall was already properly set up at Section 9 toilet as we arrive. Yummy.... The last time i ate beside the toilet was easily 30 years ago. In primary school. Feels kinda good to be reminded that i need to behave myself or its back to eating by the toilet again. And i wish i was taller then. I am pretty sure i can punch the disciplinary teacher in the nuts if he ever makes me eat by the toilet ever again. Now the current thoughts was... " What did i do this time?! How come it's back to eating by the toilet again...?" Then came the drinks. I counted 4 cooler boxes being unloaded. Here we go again....This is going to end up with another round of old people singing half baked songs from the 60s. And lotsa old men hugging each other, complementing themselves on how good they look for their age. Then more hugs will follow and somehow. It's somebody's birthday again. Be still my beating heart....

Curry Chicken:
As usual. To die for. Never ever doubt Judy's cooking. Look at Alberto. All round and prosperous. Judy must be doing something right somewhere. It's no wonder Alberto is always grinning.

Sliced Cucumber:
Another exotic dish from Miss Miri 1984. She has some skills this one. She somehow managed to cut the cucumber into some many different shapes using just a rusty old Swiss Army knife. Never doubt this one as well. She somehow managed to convince 30 hungry riders that sliced cucumber is also a meal all by itself.
Sambal:
   From Miss Baram 1986. Apparently you are supposed to eat this all by itself using only your fingers. A  few tried and agreed. I am doubtful though, Miss Baram did not tell them that they were supposed to chew off their fingers along the way.
Funny Dates with Salt:
   Another round of exotic food offered by Mrs Kuching 1999. Local delicacy from East Malaysia. Dark red looking fruit. Thin meat and practically tasteless. Not sour like an olive but texture is similar to it. Afew monkeys tried and actually enjoyed it. One monkey didn't agree to it. Claims the taste is weird and takes a bit of getting used to.

Deep Fried.

A box of Limau Nipis:
   I spotted this sitting on the table. I suspect it's there to help treat any cuts or open wound suffered. No one utilized it at all. Pity. Would have been tasty i think.
One Brown Mini Pinscher:
   Time restriction failed us on this dish. Judy simply did not have sufficient time to prepare this one. Otherwise, deep fried Pinscher would have gone down well with the toddy i believe.
Drink List:

Pete holding up tree with Qigong.

Guinness Stout from Simon. Compliments of GAB. It really is quite useful to have a ride buddy that is able to steal drinks from office. Makes its ever so convenient to have one for the road each time you actually do finish a ride. Thanks Simon.
Marlborough White Wine from Peter Wong. Nothing can stop this one from having his drinks with his friends. Kick him in the nuts if you must. He will suck it in and have his wine. Never mind the pain. We will find the missing nuts after we finish the wine. No worries there mate'.
Mojito from Dorothy Baya / Miss Miri 84' / Miss Baram 86' / Mrs Kuching 99'. Even with her recent spine injury. Nothing will stop this one from her having her drinks with her buddies. Never mind the fact that she is actually a golfer not a mountain biker. "Itu semua tak penting...Minum dulu. Don't panic...."
Mosquito Repellent from Krazy KC. You know times are bad when a CEO has to come out on Sunday to sell Mosquito Repellent by the toilet. I kid you not. The repellent is not cheap. And the poor fella even had to drive his Alphard to location just to help convince you the repellent works. Well, to be fair. He did remind us that we are not to spray it into our mouth. Regardless how thirsty we get.

Lunch queue.

  Heineken Beer from Peter Wong. Did i mention his balls earlier? Well, same thing. Same balls as well. Hold in the pain till the drinks run out. Good man this one. Alcohol does numb out some sensation i was told.
   Toddy from the Klang fella. Seems most people enjoyed this. Many comments on how refreshing it was. How bubbly it tasted. How intoxicating it gets you. Gives you a buzz after a few cups of it. Arguments on which taste better, with or without Guinness. What i don't understand is this....
   Why you guys kept calling it "Toddy" ? The shop i bought it from clearly had KEDAI DOBI KUMAR stated on it's signboard.



Conclusion:
   Did i mention we did a bit of riding before lunch?  Trail was superb. Dry and challenging. Ask KC and VC. They would agree. Yong the Bum did an excellent job carving out the trail with his team of elves. Turnout for the ride was even better than expected. We had more than 30 riders at the start point. Somehow, that 30 riders got broken into a few packs. All i saw was the same old goats. The rest of the riders were either too far ahead or gave up on us and turn back.

Awaiting Rosmah's arrival.

Rear view Dot.

   Unfortunately, a few casualty did occur during the ride. Handsome Hanz challenged his truck to a headbutting contest. Truck won. Hanz came off with a plaster on his head. Next fight will be scheduled for this coming Sunday. Come watch Hanz headbutt his rear bumper again.
  Broken Lisfranc Joint. KC was unable to ride due his mid foot being injured. But somehow he manages to drive his black van to each and every lunch invite. Tough one this fella. Would travel for food.
   Slammed nuts. Peter Wong was doing a Hanz impression. He wanted to test his nuts against his head stem.  Twice. Head stem won. Both times Peter came out losing the fight. Poor guy. Nobody offered to help check his injury. We did try searching for the lost nut on the forest floor though. No chance. Everything on the ground was either brown or shrivelled up. No way we are gonna be able to find something so well camouflaged.
Unbelieveable...

Wildlife in KDCF.