Ride Report SETIA ALAM 8th FEB 2015

SETIA ALAM Ride Report 8th February 2015.
   During the Japanese war, school term break for Primary level students was 9 weeks for the last quarter of the schooling year. Waiting for the term break was such an agony. The pain gets much worst as you inch closer to the last Friday of schooling week. I had friends who would be in tears as the clock ticks closer to 1pm. A few would look like they were at the starting line of Batu 3 Race track. All geared up to run out of the school gate like bats from hell. Bragging rights on who gets out of the school gate first was to die for. The security guard manning the gate would be saying his prayers as the clock winds down towards noon. Heck.. having 400 kids charging at you is much worst than running the bulls in Palermo.
   The kids would literally go mental staring at the clock. Waiting for the last 15 minutes to go by,it was almost like going into a trance. The favorite sexy Science teacher would walk by and no one would blink. THAT teacher i remember vividly. Even now... The world was a much better place then. Teachers were allowed to come work in mini skirts and kebaya. Schools only had one skinny boney creaky old ceiling fan in the classroom. Watching the teacher sweat in kebaya is still the best part of going to school. Off topic...

Lemmings....

   Anyhoo... That's exactly the sensation felt during the start of the Setia ride. All excited and pumped full of adrenaline waiting for the ride to commence. Almost 60 riders queued up outside Modern Mamak ready to charge down the trail. On tarmac we went....
   And the chaos began.

God help us all...

   Ride leader was nowhere to be seen after the first hike up the bike. Ride leader was spotted at the midway of the first descend through the rutty bit. Which was strange i thought.. Who is leading the ride if the leader is supervising the old goats thread their way down?
   At the first real climb. Overheard the Ride Leader mumbling in Hokkien as he rode up the hill. Saying he has run out of paper and there is still 40 riders behind him with 3 quarter of the ride yet to be done. Yippeee...
   Second chaos. At the peak. Lotsa arguments was heard.
   "Left or Right? Where are the host and ride leader? What's going on?..."
   Ok...Better move away from the riot taking place. Took a left. descended into what i now know as the " Basuh Muka" trail. Took a left at the bottom. Hopped over one little drain with crystal clear water. Charged up the little climb chasing Hanz and Kenny. Then all of us stopped. How come there is paper here?! I heard correctly the Leader saying he has ran out of paper. What's going on? Out of the blue, came Guinness and his troop. Aikkk...? Twilight Zone all over again.
   Turns out. We were riding in circles... The lazy bum in me decided to back track. Hanz and Kenny chose to ride up the same hill again. Twice. Ok. Now we know who is on steroids.

Side effects of using steriods. 

   As i back track all the way back to the drain. The host was there guiding all the riders towards the right. So off to the right we went like lemmings. Rode for 50 meters and saw a bunch of 20 riders riding back towards us. Chaos number 3.
   I had a good time chewing my coconut bun as i watched the growing confusion took place. Watching 30 odd riders trying to figure what to do is fun. Took another 15 minutes before the Leader appeared and pointed us to the left. Which he quietly told me was actually a short cut. And the actual trail was at the back headed away from us. Ok.... Now i am seriously confused. And Teres appeared out of nowhere from the right. He looked as confused as we were.

Manta lost his bike and signature pose. No nut waving this time around.

  So follows the Ride Leader. Like good abiding lemmings we troop off. Into tarmac we ended up. Waited by the septic pond for the back markers to appear. Then off we went into the village. This was part of the tarmac we used donkey years ago to connect the Presidential ride. Now it is lost to developments. What used to be palm oil trees have been exchanged for apartment blocks.
  Up into the Indonesian settlement we went. Was told to go in and wait for the Leader while he tracks back to sweep up the lazy bums at the rear. Had a party we did. Buns and mangoes came out. Dates and peanuts were offered and snapped up. A dozen cameras came out. The resident rooster was photographed like Paris Hilton after she had her boob job.

Chubby Indonesian

   Chaos number 4. Ride Leader disappeared again. Waited a few more minutes and someone suggested we find our way home using GPS. Off we went. Back into the trail. 30 odd lemmings mumbling and puffing up the hill. Ended up backtracking the same hill out. Took us a good hour of trooping before we finally managed to get back to the trail head again....
   Back at the car.
   Zero comments heard with regards to the ride.

Pretty obvious eh?

   "So...Bak Kut Teh across the road? On? Now?..."
12 cars. 2 tables.6 pots of Bak Kut Teh. 2 plates of Fried Prawns. 4 Plates of steamed Vegetables.
   It's the Bak Kut Teh.... Everything else is secondary....Even if Chee Hong is shedding hair like a Shit Tzu.


Un'believable