The Man from Bromo...

22nd and 24th November 2017 Weekday ride Kiara:-
 

Cross Roads Wefie

   The long awaited weekday ride with Antony finally came. The Penghulu from Malang came for a stopover ride with us after his Chiang Mai trip. The goats have been told of his arrival and started making plans to host our friend for Kiara and KDCF.

   Time decided and ride location planned for the first introductory ride. KIARA.
   Antony did the Malaysian thing for his first ever ride in Malaysia, he was late.
   There we were, 4 old goats standing and kicking stones at the bikewash. And our guest was nowhere to be seen. The Manta looked like he was drowning. Bulldozer wanted to go...well, bulldoze something. Hanz kept grinning for reasons known only to himself. No one wanted to ask him why he was mimicking a starving hyena. Me, i was getting worried. Being in the company of restless old people scares me plenty. Old people either faints or starts foaming at the mouth if left to their own idle mind for too long. Neither of which i am fond of watching. So i decided it was probably best that we find out where this Antony fella actually was. I hope he is actually in Malaysia. People do confuse coming to Malaysia and Singapore seeing that we are that close. Hanz called, first signs were good. He is in KL. Second sign, he is awake.
   After 3 minutes of chatter, turns out Antony is doing the exact nonsense we do. Go eat first. This fella learns very quickly i thought. Only 23 hours upon touch down and he has picked up so much.
   So with a brief consultation among the old goats, we decided to take off for our ride. Let Antony search for us in the trail.
   The usual Office trail to warm up. Then into Coronary for a wee bit of climbing. Up the tarmac towards Magic Carpet. Into Magic and up to Magic Circle before we came out at the tarmac for Manta to catch his breath. Sat down for a bit of hellos and chats.
   We heard him before we actually saw him. Antony was seen walking and shaking his head. Manta did the first thing every mountain biker does upon seeing a fellow buddy in distress. Manta took out his phone.
   "Hi Antony...! Look up. I have you on video. Try not to pant so much. Go on. Continue walking. Just two more switchbacks and you will be out. "
   We all smiled. It was a moment all of us looked forward to. This will be spoken about for the next 3 months whenever we think of Antony. Even Bulldozer stopped kicking pebbles and came over to watch.

   "Morning guys...."

   We waited a good 20 minutes before our guest could recall where he was on a Wednesday morning. Life is good indeed. None of us could speak Javanese, therefore we could not comfort our guest. All we could do was smile and offer him sticks to throw.

Plan C enterance.

   After 30 minutes of chatter, we decided to head into 2K. Short little spurt and we ended up at the cross roads. Took some time and photos for evidence. Then it was decided that the young ones head into Mission Reverse while Manta and Bulldozer went off to the retirees trail. Off we went.
   Antony came out of Mission with a huge smile on his face.
   "That was good. The downhill and switchbacks ...fantastic!"
   Tarmac up towards Barrakuda and we caught up with Manta. As usual, Manta has an apple and was halfway chewing it when we arrive. Apple break it is then. More chit chat and it was decided we head towards Plan C via Wasteland. Into Wasteland we went. Up towards reservoir and the group emerged at the tarmac. Did the usual Plan C loop and came back to the tarmac within a good 30 minutes. Antony looked like he was having fun. He couldn't figure out the climbing part though. He was looking high and low for the support lorry.
   " You mean we will have to ride back UP where we just came down from?"
   We could only smile.
   Short break and off we went back towards Wasteland before heading back to the cars.
   It was a short and sweet ride. Met old friends, hosted a buddy. Watch monkeys. Monkeys watched us. We both shook our heads. Kiara on a Wednesday. Who would have thought.

24th November KDCF.

He doesn't know yet...

   Friday. The ride was set at 1430 hours. Another odd time set by Manta. Retirees do go by their own quirky schedules. All we could do was smile.
   Arrived at 1400 hours. Saw a few early birds already at the car park. Waved and smiled at each other. Antony came out from Ben's car with a huge grin. Manta arrived. Then Guinness rolled in. Did the usual pre-ride chatter before we took off into KDCF.
   Not much said among the old goats. Nothing much can be said when you have to climb for a good 45 minutes in the humid secondary forest.

First stop.

   I only saw Unker stopped once to pee. Then the second time to burp. And the third time to get Guinness to stop so he has someone to talk to. I could only continue walking away in silence. Manta was further down talking to Tailook. I was utterly alone. Oh well... i continued walking. A good few silent moment passed before i emerge from the bush to see the group panting at the hut. Waited for the back markers to arrive for the customary photo taking session. I must have had my photos taken at the very same spot for the 48th time. Dementia can be very painful. Manta kept insisting we take the photo. Even when i reminded him that this will be the 49th time coming this year alone.

Second stop.

   Short apple break and off we went towards Serenity. The group took off and Manta had no other choice but to put his camera away. Up we went. More silence as the group tried their best not to faint and fart. Unker stopped again to pee.

   Caught up with the group at the enterance to Serenity. A brief headcount and off we went.
   Everyone emerged from Serenity with a smile. Antony was so happy he decided to snap his bike chain and walk the last 200 meters of Serenity. For camaraderie's sake, all of us stood by while we help watch Antony fix his chain. Done and dusted within minutes, into Salleh we went. Came out at the school for our next gossip stop. Antony was grinning ear to ear.

   " This is fun. I really enjoy this trail. Though the first climb very nearly killed me. I really enjoy this trail. "



   More chit chat and gossip before the group headed into Scouts to do the downhill bit towards our car. Manta looked like he was turning green. I decided to accompany him and we took the road back. Not nice to let the old fella mumble alone while cycling on the road. People will stare.

   Arrived at the car park and started preparing for the guys to return. Took another good hour before the first rider came out covered in mud. Looks like they had plenty fun washing their bikes later.
   Beer was served. All is good.





26th November Hash Ride:
   The guys decided to host Antony for his last ride here before he leaves for home. See photo collage below. It looked like he had fun too.

  It has been a memorable week for all. Having a fellow mountain biker here to ride our local trail has been a pleasure. Watching him suffer as we do on a weekly puts a smile on our face. This is why we ride.
   See you soon ... Next stop Bali!

   Un'believeable.

12th October 2017 Lazy Muck around ride.

   Another lazy Sunday...
   The entire bunch of goats went off to Semenyih for a revisit to one of our old Presidential trail. Wanted to join initially. However, the flu got the better of me. And old age. And laziness....
   It's been an awful month since returning from Bromo. For some reason, i couldn't bring myself to drive an hour in the dead of the morning for a ride on trail i rode numerous times. Hardly done any riding aside from 2 Kiara rides. It's gonna be a disaster when our buddy from Bromo drop in for his Kiara maiden ride. We are gonna be so screwed. I am hoping this Wednesday would be a good day to free load onto the Yellow Manta for a quick ride in Kiara. Otherwise, i may as well hang up the bloody bike for good.
   Woke up and sat around for a bit. Then it just got really boring after staring at the wall for a good 3 minutes. Grabbed the freshly built Stumpy and off i went. Wasn't quite sure where i was headed to. Hell, i just wanted to ride the bike somewhere before i go crazy from riding deprivations.
   Got out about 3km from the house. Came to a little bridge climb over the rail tracks. Kick the old Stumpy and it felt really weird. Cranked it a couple more times and decided it was probably best to check the bike out. Stopped at the bottom of the bridge and stared at the bike for a bit. Shook the crank and lo and behold. Bloody crank is swaying sideways. Damm. Thought i had that sorted out last week. Tried talking to it. Didn't work. Bounced it on the tarmac a few times. Didn't work. Took out the multi tool and spoke to it in a louder voice. Nope. Not working.

   Took a deep breath and hopped on to it. Hoping it will sort itself out after a few more minutes. Rode into the Malay Village to view some of the locals doing their shopping in the morning. Crank remains wonky. Took a turn into Sentosa hoping to meet some friends. Pedalled a few more clicks. Saw no one. Everyone must either still be asleep or have gone off to Semenyih.

   Decided to explore the place. Rode off in a general direction of the village pointing east. passed by a couple of freshly built houses. Followed the traffic and ended up on the other side of the village after a few minutes. Crank remains wonky.

   Oh well.... Let's head home via the railway tracks and see what we can do for the Stumpy. Took another 30 minutes before i finally got home. Sat the bike down in the garden and stared at it for a couple of minutes. This has got to be solved. Otherwise, it will be shit when i go riding up North.
   Decided to strip the Turner and Frankenstein the bike up.
   Voila.... sorted out within minutes.
   Now i know for sure. Truvativ cranks do not work with Shimanos. Bunch of monkeys. Can't these guys actually agree on a parallel size ? One fella has to get his crank spline 1mm smaller than the other so you can't cross over and share parts. Monkey's ass...

   The rest of the day went by in a blur.


   Then came across a buddy's posting on FB about a stray dog that he came across while riding. Charming little fella actually accompanied him up the hill for 8kms. Story got me smilling. That dog should be homed. Such a pity having that little fella all outside by himself. I would have taken him home.
   My thoughts went back to the strays behind my house.The strays in my place tries to nip off my ankles each time i pass them by. Those should be slapped some sense into them. Can't figure out why they are so angry all the time.

Unbelievable...

29th October 2017 Exploring ride around the local housing estate.

Muck around ride around the home ground.

   Woke up with a huge headache. Kiara plan cancelled within 2 seconds of getting out of bed. Decided it was not a good idea driving all the way with a leaky nose. Was all simply lazy really. Most of the old goats decided to go for the Hash ride somewhere in Rasa. Too hot a weather to drive 80km just to ride a trail i thought.
   Had my coffee and took the little ones out for their usual breakfast greet and meet at the local coffee shop.
Yadda yadaa... soccer mum duties till lunch time.
   Sat down at home at 1500 hours and stared at the wall for a few minutes. Open a can of beer perhaps?
Decided against it. Bloody fridge was too far away. Kicked a few pillows around and sat down again.
   "What the heck...."
   Threw on the helmet and gloves. Decided to go roaming around the neighborhood and see what i can discover. Moved here about 5 years ago, never really rode around to see what is available. Would be good to just wonder around a bit till dinner time. Besides, the bike needed a setting in ride. Took along some tools.
   Here we go. Left or right?
   Left turn it is. Rode for 13 feet and came across 2 mutts guarding the junction. They took one look at me and decided it would be fun to chase a barely warmed cyclist down the road for a bit. Bunch of monkeys. They really chased me for a good 5 minutes.

   Took me right to the riverside.Stopped to adjust my rear shock. Then took off riding again. Saw 2 more black mutts hiding under the car. Thought to myself, this will be ok. They are under the car after all. Rode past the car. And out they came. Charging at me like i rode over their bloody tail. What's going on today?
This pair chased me for a good 60 feet. Only backed off after i took out my pump and waved it at them.


   Can't believe my luck today. I was only out riding for 20 minutes and already got chased twice. Was it the pants?
   Rode along the river side. Looking around at people with their evening activities. Came across a little Indian temple and skipped across to look at it. Immediately, out came charging a brown mutt. What the hell.... Backed off and tried to move away. Bloody mutt came charging. Swung the pump at it and he finally took me seriously.
   This is really weird.
   Oh well. Shrugged and continued cycling...

   Took a turn. What do you see. 4 dogs. My lucky day... Of course they came charging . Again... After 2 minutes of raising my voice and screaming at them. I finally managed to ride away. Not without one mutt giving me the evil eye. I never hated dogs so much in my entire life.
   Decided it was probably better to head towards the Malay village and muck around there. I am pretty sure its safer there. Don't think i would get bullied by the resident stray cats i am sure.
   Took the track right beside the river and rode around peacefully for awhile. Came across a few kids who tried to challenge me to a smiling contest. Waved them off and went on my way.
   Saw a little hidden alley and decided to explore it. Came to a boom gate with a abandoned car. Dismounted and out came another mutt. This one was really upset. What the hell is it with the dogs today?? Yelled and waved my pump at it again. This one was really persistent. Came charging up to my pedals. Had no choice but to stand between the bike and cursed him in Hokkien. Cheeky fella even tried to nip my heel as i rode away.
   Finally entered the village. Peace of mind finally. No stupid PMS dogs in view. Rode right up to the sluice gate and a few guys fishing in the murky water.
   Looked at my watch and it was already 7ish.
   In total. I rode 10km. Took me almost 2 hours to do 10 clicks. Dismount like 100 times to confront about 14 dogs. What a day .... Kiara was probably safer by comparison.

   Unbelievable...

2nd August 2016 Tasik Biru Ghost Hunt

Ghost Hunting Ride :-

Tail lights...

   The warm up ride before Burung Hantu in October. Someone suggested, 20 agreed. So off we went to Tasik Biru in Sungai Buloh for a night ride. the idea was to test out the lights needed for the upcoming ride in Malacca. Also to check how many of the old folks needed new spectacles for night blurry vision. Our resident eye specialist Batman Tong was absent. However, we were sure he would welcome any extra business coming from this end of the rainbow. Slightly fading but still a rainbow nonetheless...

Ghost hunting begins.

   With the average median age within the riding group touching 50's now, poor eye sight is the current concern. Soon to be caught up by poor hearing. As concerned riding buddies, we will try to address one problem at a time. The current prevailing one was to avoid fellow riders riding into each other or reaching out for help and grabs another person's twinkie instead of his hand. Getting hold of a sweaty todger is the least thing i plan to do during this lifetime. Especially when the said todger belongs to a centurion.
   At 1900 hours, most riders were present and ready for the ride. Excitement and spirits were high. The group could barely wait for supper to come. Having roti canai after ride is very motivating indeed. So much so, the group had to be held back from rushing off into the darkness.
   Well, except for 2 old farts who decided to show up 30 minutes late.

   We waved good bye and wished them well. Off we went into the darkening skies following Tailook. A trail of blinkers lead into the oil palm estate which will be our playground for the next 5 hours.
   Trail was pretty much intact and remained the same since the last time we came for the ride. Except for a few bit that was flattened down and muddy. That was ok i guess, considering we still managed to squeeze out 30 clicks of night time riding that day. Pretty much palm oil trails the entire night. Flowy and smooth for most of the way. Rode through a couple of tunnels and climb up pretty much all the monsoon drain we could find and ended up in a petrol station right smack in the middle of nowhere. Which was a pretty welcomed treat really.

That is 100k worth of muddy bikes.

   Didn't think the station owner was pleased seeing 20 mud covered old chimps parked in front of his station drinking Coke at 11pm. He was mighty concerned. Can't quite blame him now can we? What was he to do if one old chimps decides to get a heart attack from drinking ice cold Coke and drops dead there and there itself? Would have been a mighty mess to clean up eh? I would be pissed if i were him... All the mud and sweaty jerseys to burn and get rid of. Disposing a sweaty muddy body would be asking too much in exchange for a can of Coke.

One chimp stops chewing his food.

   It was then that i noticed how well trained and conditioned these bunch of old chimps have become. I have never believed that it is possible to train a bunch of 50 year olds. What more, a bunch of 20 chimps. Together in a group.
   Watching on tv, the difficulties a shepherd had to endure to round up even a simple minded bunch of goats. I was amazed at how easy it was to round up this bunch of old chimps. You did not have to shout. Or wave a stick at anyone. No need to make threats or fists waving. It was almost magical really.
   To get the group to shut up and get in line. All you need to do is...

11 well behaved chimps.

More well trained chimps.

   Whip out your phone and offer to take photos.

Even the mighty caveman froze for the camera.

   You can almost stop planet earth from spinning i tell you. Everything comes to a complete standstill. Circus monkeys would be put to shame.
   It is amazing what a mobile phone camera can do these day and age. The chimps goes into a trance like motion. Without being told, every chimp would stop whatever it was doing and pose for the camera. A buck naked Pamela Anderson appearing then and there itself would be ignored. This phenomenon should be studied. I mean seriously looked into.
   I really really like Pamela.

   Un'believeable...
 

10th July Bukit Beruntung Post Hash Revisit.

Bukit Beruntung Muckaround Ride:-

 Drove 71 clicks for this ride. Woke up at 0530 hours. Took the usual dump. Left home at 0600 hours for roti canai. Then it was a slow leisure drive towards the start point, Bukit Beruntung. According to Mr Waze, i will take about 65 minutes to arrive. It had better be worth all these to drive so far for a ride.

   Arrived at 0730 and the entire place is devoid of people. Got me a wee bit creeped out for awhile. Stayed in the car and pretended to play with my phone. Then the herds started to trickle in slowly. Pat Lew came and we managed to sort out his flat tyre within minutes. Turn out he had a tiny wire stuck to the tyre causing him to keep getting a flat. Problem fixed and we got ready for the ride to begin.

   The usual mumbo jumbo about how far we plan to ride. Where to go for lunch and some finger waving. Off we went. With Tailook leading the way and someone keeping the herd bunched together in the front and rear. No one asked and no one bothered. It's too early and still not warm enough i guess.
   Into the rubber plantation we went. Single track. Climb climb climb.
   We lost the leading pack after the third climb. Manta tried searching for the tail markers. Failed. Decided we will just follow the preset GPS route and continued riding. Ran into the front group after 10 minutes. Turns out they got lost and ended up somewhere up another hill. Someone farted and we continued riding again.
   More single tracks. Flowy and shaded for most part.
   Came to a clearing for hike a bike and the herd obediently lined up to walk. Regrouped at the top. Phones came flying out for selfies, wefies and godknowswhatfie is there. Technology still confuses me. I decided to just sit quietly at a corner and count phones. I counted 34 phones... I gave up at 34.
   Short break and chat. Then off again we went into the trail. This time into palm oil and mix of rubber plantations. The usual flowy and shaded trail. This is much better than expected. Trail went on like that for the next hour.

   Caught up with the group at the climb towards the palm oil plantation and we decided to stop and watch Peter Wong repair his broken chain. Ride continued after he was done. It was a good 15 minutes well spent. Watching riders repair bikes in the forest is fun...

   Off we went, more singletracks again till we appeared at the little village called Sungai Buaya for water refill and more selfie wefie thingy... Gave the group a good 20 minutes to do their phone and photo update before we continued into the trail again. A bunch of them found a pile of durians and started feasting on it. They enjoyed it. A few continued on towards the desert.
   The desert part had most of us hanging our tongue out for ventilation... My memory failed me. I did not remember this bit being so long and sloggy. Staring at dried river beds and counting rocks was not what i recalled. It was a good 3 clicks of staring and talking to the rocks on the ground before we arrived back into secondary forest for relief from the sun.
   Took a break and waited for the bunch to arrive before we proceeded towards the river crossing which will take us back towards our car.

   Like obedient lemmings, we waited at the river bank. Staring at the muddy murky water. Unsure if we should proceed now or wait. Finally after 2 minutes of intense discussion, we managed to convince Peter Wong to let MJ go first. Its always best for the herd to sacrifice the young and gullible ones. Seeing MJ still complete and alive across the river, the rest followed and continued with the ride.
   Rode up another singletrack and through a bushy trail, we emerged right across the car park. All smiles and sigh of relief....
   Another ride done and dusted....

  'Unbelievable.

3rd JULY 2016 Sungai Pusu Run....

Sungai Pusu Desert Ride and Fellowship.

   Little village off the Genting Karak Highway. All quaint , quiet and peaceful for most the weekends. Chickens and children play n the streets oblivious to traffic. Old folks having hot coffee on their wooden house verandah. Very soothing to watch and puts smile on your face as you drive by slowly.
  The kampung folks probably felt the same watching a convoy of 40 cars driving into their village at 8 am. I can imagine their amusement and grin when they see these bunch of clowns coming to explore their village. Kids and goats were grinning at us as we parked our cars. Some kids hung their tongue out when they saw old people getting out of their wearing only spandex. Poor kids.... how many would wake up screaming tonight?

   Today's ride was initiated by Tailook, CH, VC and Eddie. The boys came and laid out the tracks a few weeks ago. We were invited to hop in and see we would enjoy their version of a Pusu run. Everyone gathered in front of the local school hall for the ride leader, CH to give a ride briefing and sing the national anthem.

   CH said good morning and thanked those who contributed the RM10 to Maybank over the week. Then he let out a cough and wished everyone a good ride.
   That was that. Rider started pushing out.
   Ride started only with a 2km tarmac climb up a 36% gradient. I was totally confused for 16 minutes. Nobody said a word. Like good citizens of the state, we just went ahead and laid our trust in the leader. Even at half doubt knowing this may lead us to some godforsaken trail. We keep our eyes on the ground and continued grinding.
   Finally arrived at what looked more like a right and proper mtb trail. Into the bushes we went. Sweet grassy single tracks for a few clicks. Up and down we went. For a good 30 minutes or so.
   Then we arrived at Tattoine. To ride in the little sand canyon, you can't help but grin like a child. That was an unexpected bonus. Most everyone stopped to have a photo. The sand and the clay wall was mind boggling. Getting to ride inside it was simply breathtaking. We never came this in all our years of riding Pusu. The beauty of MTB riding, you can never stop discovering when you go off road.


   Up we climbed on to a flat sand packed clearing and all of us stood in awe of the sight. Sand and more sand as the eye can see. We also saw King Kenny taking his 17th selfie of the day. Somebody farted in appreciation. Nobody admitted to it but we could tell that person was really impressed with what he saw. More photos and some chattering then we rode of into the single track right across.
   It was a 20 minutes downhill run towards what was once a lake. Today, it was a dried out patch teeming with grass. Waited as King Kenny took a few mores selfie before the group rode backwards towards the first apple break point.
   A cooling and shaded single track ride towards the waterfall where we will have our first break. Mostly silent except for some insects and cameras clicking as you ride past other cyclist. Borky kept pointing his groin at riders going past him. I was also surprised by his obscene gesture. After catching Borky pointing his groin at Pat Liew the fourth time, i had no choice but to stop and put things right. Turns out Borky doesn't have a preference for men. He had a GoPro discreetly hidden near his groin and he was taking photos of riders as the ride past. Please do not ask Borky why he kept his GoPro at his groin. Some men like chubby women, some men like goats...to each his own. I don't really care or mind.
   Our new guest rider Alex decided to take an early break as we approached the rest point. He took out his chain breaker and broke his bike chain. Unker saw it and stopped me. Unker was lost for words and asked me to approach Alex in a civil manner. I gave Unker a pat on his shoulder and shoo'ed him off.

   "I'll take care of this Alex fella. You go ahead. Have your apple... No need to get all worked up."
   Chain was put back in place within minutes. I politely warned Alex never to do it again. Unker returned to check on us and gave a thumbs up when he saw Alex squatting in regret. I could only watch. Unker brought Manta and Krankster for support, just in case things got ugly. To put things in perspective, that's a combined total age of 160 years against 55kgs. Thankfully, the old folks forgot what they came back for.... I was never more pleased.
   Now the climbing starts.

   Single tracks climb up for almost 45 minutes and we appeared at another sandy clearing. King Kenny took his 45th selfie of the day.
   Now, the roasting starts.
   It was almost 11am. We were not told there would be 5 clicks of open unrelentless climb up towards some pondok. Like all obedient dehydrated rats, we rode in a single file towards our pondok. I saw a few riders squatting by the grass talking to pebbles. Another rider was quietly walking in circles searching for his helmet. It was painful to watch. His helmet was on his head all the while. King Kenny stopped to take a selfie with the dude...
   Finally arrived at the pondok and had our obligatory chit chat and apple.
   View from the pondok was spectacular. We could see Bukit Tabur and KLCC in the distance. And the greenery surrounding it was gorgeous. You could see the village and little streams running beside it.
   Well, that's what they kept saying. I didn't bother getting up to look. It was too damm hot. I was trying to find some shade under the pondok and tried not to overheat and blow my internal radiator..
   Finally after 30 minutes of resting and cooling down. We continued towards our car. Another 3km only according to the ride leader. That's alright eh?

   He conveniently forgot to mention the 3 km was under a full raging sun....
   I wilted.
   Manta was like a fish out of water.
   Unker...well, he was quiet.
   Krankster stopped grinning.

   Somehow, the old folks and the bunch of half dried mutts managed to drag themselves back to the car and finally get some shade from the scorching sun. Never been more grateful to find some shade...

   Lunch was decided within minutes and the entire gang packed up and headed off for post ride carbo loading.
   All in all. It was a fun ride. Trail was smooth and flowy.
   Happy Sunday indeed...

'Unbelievable.
 

21st FEB 2016 Putrajaya Twilight Zone

Putrajaya Challenge Park plus Kampung Ride:-

   0815 hours, the roll call for this Sunday's ride in Putrajaya. Counted the usual suspect present except for the so called Ride Director / Tailook. Got the Manta worried not seeing the Ride Director at the start point. Manta decided to give him a quick buzz to see if he got lost or decided to go elsewhere. Short conversation and some soft cursing in Hainanese was all i saw and heard.

   " The bugger is not coming, he was still asleep when i called. All i heard was something to the effect of  ' Not right now,...Please wait... I am still holding it up for you. Bend back a wee bit more...'."

   Manta felt so violated. He was asking me if i had any water to wash his phone. Never have i seen such utter disgust reflected on an old man's face. And all this was taking place on a holy Sunday morning. Such is the sad state of society we live in now. All i could do was pat the Manta gently on his shoulder and tell to execute his Ball Chopping Taichi move to help him gain some relief.

Counting ducks...

    With no other candidate in sight to sucker around, the Manta was unceremoniously elected as the Ride Leader for the day. We did not do any head count. The numbers always end up wrong whenever the Manta counts. Best to let it be. It has and always will be such. He was a banker not a mathematician.
   CH and me was somewhat decided to be the sweeper for the day by somebody.
   Just right before we could start, someone came by and told us the PCP Park was off limit for the day. Turns out the Park Rangers were doing pest control exercise for the day. Wild boars were multiplying out of control, therefore the Rangers had to take control to ensure some form of sanity prevails. Now, that puts things into perspective... I knew Tailook must have had a very solid reason not to show up for the ride. Survival instinct is a very natural thing.

   So off we went without any headcount.

   Tarmac grinding up till the back entrance of the horse ranch and into the single track we went. Under 3 bridge we rode. Jason Junior decided to do a head dive under the second bridge. Came out from it looking like a Vietcong, muddy and dusty. Gave us a thumbs up and saluted his two riding buddies with his third finger. Must be good friends these 3 fellows. On we went chasing ducks by the crystal clear river running alongside the single track.
   Morning sun and beautifully crafted out single tracks for the next 30 minutes. It was so lovely The Portugeese decided to stop a few times to mark his territory. I counted 3 coconuts trees that he visited. Each time returning with a smile.

Ball cam.

   Into palm plantation. The first little climb up into the plantation. Like obedient lemmings we went. No questions asked. Manta was having a gala time leading us into nowhere. Mind you, he has never been here. All he had to guide us was a track log which was given to him by the absent Tailook. Blind leading the handicapped. Jason Junior started walking. His two buddies shot up the hill without looking back.
   Waited a wee bit for Jason Junior to come up walking up the bump and we decided to clearly find out  from him who suckered him into coming for this silly ride. He breathlessly blurted out "Brandon and Fei Mao...". Me and CH could only grin. I was told it was not polite to laugh, so i had to pinch CH. CH was turning red trying to hold it in.

   " How long more...? Are we almost done? The car is behind this hill right?"

   I had to pinch CH again.  

   We could not bring ourselves to tell him that we had just barely covered 10 clicks. And the trail set for the day was an easy 30 clicks. Jason Junior refused to move till we gave him assurance that his two good buddies were waiting for him up the little crest. Judy shook her head and quietly abandoned us while we were chatting him up.
   Rode the corner and Jason Junior turned green. Not the Incredible Hulk Green mind you. More of the Jabba the Hut kind of Green. He saw the climb right smack in front of him and his mouth fell open. Yep, exactly like Jabba the Hut when he swallowed the rat. I left as soon as i could.

First hill walk.

   Me and CH basically raced up the hill.
   CH caught Brandon and Fei Mao at the peak and started waving his GPS at them. All i could see from the distance was lotsa fist waving and shoulder shrugs. Fei Mao and Jason were having a round of rock and scissors to decide who would go confront Jason Junior. CH had a tough time trying to convince them that Jason Junior is basically harmless at this moment. In his weakened state, it is actually very safe. Just stay a couple of inches from his reach and you will be fine. You won't get chewed up if you watch him closely. That's how cavemen brought down a woolly mammoth. It worked then, it will work now.
   In the end, the guest riders from Cheras got tired of watching and decided to step in and take matters into control. Two Cheras rider bravely went down the hill and helped drag Jason Junior up. Brandon and Fei Mao still couldn't decide on how many rounds of rock and scissors actually decides the winner. Judy and Alberto ran out of patience and left us once again. CH was having a horrid ear ache from hearing Manta repeatedly asking where we monkeys were over the walkie.

Ball cam 2.

   Gave Jason Junior as much time as he needed to recover his strength and sanity. I offered him a coconut bun. He refused it. CH offered him a drink. He also refused that. One guy offered him a cigarette. He also refused that. His two buddies sat right next to him, quiet as a mouse can be. Brandon only smiled and grinned when he was sure Jason Junior wasn't looking. At times like this, the only correct thing to do is by being discreet and polite.

   After the infinite time of hearing Manta asking us to stop monkeying around and come up to the main group. We somehow managed to get Jason Junior up on his feet and continue walking. We finally made it  back to the main group. A couple of guys came over to pat Jason Junior and gave him some words of encouragement. One guy checked and made sure Jason Junior wasn't over heating or blew a gasket.
   Had a quick break and off we went towards the peak of the hill to take more photos with Borky's ball mounted camera. Jason Junior switched to screen saver mode. In silence we marched on.
   Waited for CH and the back markers to come up the climb. CH came up grinning like a chimp whom just found a pile unclaimed bananas.

   " So where is the back markers?"
   " Oh... We might have to wait a while..."
   " Huh? Wait somemore? Manta will be screaming at us over the walkie again...Wait for what?"
   " Remember Jason ? He decided to lie down."
   "Oh."
   " Nothing to worry really. His is not alone. His two buddies are accompanying him."

   The walkie chattered non stop for the next half and hour. We were lucky really. Me and CH both do not understand one bit of Hainanese.

Retired and hyper.

   Finally managed to regroup again and off we went, in hopes of locating the main group. After 20 minutes of wondering around, we finally found the old folks squatting down admiring Borky's ball mounted camera. Manta approached Jason Junior and clearly explained to him why he is in this predicament. It is because of poorly placed trust. Nothing to do whatsoever with him being unfit and having to ride 30 clicks of mtb trails.
 
   " First thing you should learn in mountain biking is. Never ever trust your cycling buddies. All of us here knows that. All of us here are not really friends. Any one of these fellas here will snatch any chance to put me or anyone else here into your shoes. And watch you suffer. With a smile of course..."
   "So, from now on, choose your friends wisely...."

   Took a break and off we went again. Down a rutted downhill section and into plantation tarmac. We have covered almost 20 clicks so far. Nice.
   Waited at the top of the first tarmac climb to regroup the back markers. It was another 20 minutes before the two evil ones came up and proudly declared with a smile.

   " Done. It is all over now. We don't have to wait for Jason Junior anymore. We can go now."

   Me and CH went cold for awhile. I thought they were friends. I looked at CH and we realized we had no other choice but to ask. How else were we gonna answer when Manta starts asking questions? All of us knows how unreasonable Manta can be when he realizes we left a good man behind with an expensive carbon full suspension bike. Such a waste of a good bike...

   " Uh... What exactly happened to Jason?"
   " Oh. He is on his last few breathes already. He clearly told us to go ahead and come back later to this spot to retrieve whatever is left of him. We have marked the location. No worries. We have WAZE."

   What can me and CH say?

   So off we went.
   Hence, the reason for this blog. If something goes wrong with the retrieval of Jason Junior, this blog is to safeguard and absolve me and CH from any ongoing or prevailing actions of the law. We tried to reason with Brandon and Fei Mao. They were adamant on continuing with the ride. By hook or by crook, they were determined to finish the ride. Alberto was witness to it. His mouth was wide open from shock upon hearing it.

   " What is happening to this world? "

  With a bit more of reluctant wondering around and climbing down one bridge. We finally managed to reconnect back to the track log and find our way back towards the car. Another 45 minutes of grinding and we were back at the car park. Brandon and Fei Mao packed up in a blink of an eye an drove off without speaking to anyone.

Ball cam3.

   Manta was waiting for us by the kerb when we arrived. I quickly approached him and explained in detail on why we took so long and how those two decided to abandon their comrade behind to the mercy of nature. Manta took a long look at both them, turned towards me and said...

   " So now where do we go for lunch...?"

   'Unbelievable...