How's that for a Sunday morning?... |
Yaa daa ,Yaa daa, Yaa daa..... Sunday came. Made my way straight to the meet point. Picked up a lost Manta at the Rimbayu roundabout. Took a slower drive to cross the bridge. Didn't want the poor old Manta to rev and stress the old Opel. Was told the Opel was due to be sold for RM1.20 a kilo. Due to a leaky engine that was making Bandar Utama car park a potential health hazard. Somehow, the Old Opel read my mind. Heard Manta honking at me as i took a turn. Stopped.
" You might wanna do something about the bike. It looks like it's going to do a jailbreak. Or give your windshield a hug..."
Oh. Bike tried to perform an escape trick. I thought Manta was going to offer me a bun.
How disappointing.
Reset the bike...
Arrived and voila....!!!
A mini jamboree of sort was already in place. There were so many people and cars. Looked like an early morning Taichi session was about to take place.
Parked. Got off and started unloading. Had a bit of chit chat with VC. Whispered to DotM about how healthy Dotty has become. Unker was busy giving instructions. Nobody was listening. Unker continued giving instructions. Aunty 13 came along. Flashing her Miss Ipoh smile. Ah Loy came up. Dennis came up. Both started congratulating each other on the fat level gained within the past months. Ivan came. Annie came. Newbie Vivian came grinning. Li Ann gave instruction to Connie. Connie nodded to every other living creature within her sight. Including the stray dog sleeping on the grass.
Unker failed to auction off this ... |
And away we went.
Nonsensical chatter heard all along the warm up ride along the cemetery towards the trail head. Nobody paid any attention to the dead cat along the way. Good weather. Cool and breezy.
Arrived at the trail head. All accounted for. This time, Li Ann managed to leave the car park and stay within the pack. Wuhoo... Unker was mighty glad he did not have to return to retrieve her. Amelia gave a briefing to the newbie on what to eat before the ride. Yong Li nodded as all good primary students do when told to line up. He even offered to put both hands on Connie's shoulder just to make sure the line was straight.
Up the staircase we walked. Vivian attempted to ride up. Overtook Mother Hen Dotty. Vivian had the good sense to stop right before the top of the staircase. Pretended to look tired. Dotty lazer eyed Vivian from the back. I was afraid for Vivian. Amelia's continuous chatter broke the tense situation. Nobody knows exactly what Amelia was saying. I firmly told Ricky.
" Please. No more giving that one MILO. Can't you see how hyper she is? If she continues like this the whole morning. You are gonna get kicked in the butt by 10:00 am."
So we rode along the cool palm oil plantation for the next 30 minutes. Pretty much everyone was lost in their own thoughts. Unker continued barking out instructions. No one paid him any attention. Mother Hen Dotty had herself surrounded by her brood of chicks. Patiently keeping them in line. Pecking at those lagging behind. Reminding Connie to continue breathing. Still keeping her eye on Vivian attempting to ride up the hills. Amelia continued saying something in Cantonese. Yong Li pretending to listen. Annie and Ivan rode slower and slower on purpose i suspect.
This 2 came to upload their Facebook. |
Came to the first rutty downhill. Caught up with the newbie pack. Like obedient lemmings, all dove into the downhill. Amelia first. Then Li Ann. I took a good look and nearly had a stroke. Li Ann trying to keep up with "Milo / Sugar infused Amelia" flew off her saddle. Landed back on her saddle and happily bounced down the trail. Totally oblivious to the jaw dropping sound i made.
Took off after her to make sure she bounced correctly. Rode down 10 meters and heard Mother Hen screaming. Looked back. Saw Connie attempting to get a mud facial while riding down the hill.
Connie is all natural.
She wanted to have a good look at the ground. Connie decided to bounce off her bike and take a closer look at the ground. Connie also wanted to find out how strong Dotty's heart was. Connie scraped 2 feet of the ground with her right cheek and nose. Dotty sounds really husky when she screams. Some may find a chubby woman with a husky voice sexy but that's another matter. Let's not stray away from stage diver Connie now.
Connie stayed close to the ground for a few minutes. Dennis came running right behind to make sure the bike was not scratched. Annie sat down and took her apple out. Ivan came closer to have a look. At his age, anything further than 5 feet looks the same. Anyone further than 5 feet also looks the same. We could hear Amelia chattering away in the distance. Mother Hen Dotty sat next to Connie. Helped Connie sit up. Gave Connie water. Gently reminded Connie to breathe. Connie managed to blink twice.
" Take your time. Breathe. This is normal. Don't panic. We have all been through this. Breathe. It's nothing new to fall down doing this. All of us have fallen down and gotten scarred doing this. "
Dennis showed Connie his calf with a long scar on it.
Ah Loy showed Connie how fat he has become.
Ivan showed Connie his bald head.
Annie chewed her apple quietly.
" Look at me Connie. When i started riding MTB. I fell a lot also. Just like you, i fell face first many times. I fell so many times i lost count. I was once a "B". Now i am an "A". It's ok. Nothing to worry about.... "
Connie caught her breathe after a few minutes. We cleaned her up as best as we could for the moment. Dennis dusted the bike. Bravely mounting her bike, Connie rode down and we caught up with the main pack of goats. Explained to the Manta what transpired. He was disappointed. He couldn't believe Annie didn't share her apple with him.
Dorothy taking photo of her nose. |
Finally got the newbies to continue riding and caught up with the main group. Group rode happily for 15 minutes along the tea farm. Made it to the actual apple break location. Newbie decided they wanted to continue eating their cake. Newbie ate cake and congratulated each other on not dying in a palm oil plantation.
50 sweaty riders. Plenty of chatter. Apples. Oranges. Chocolate bar. Muesli bar. Butter cake. Grapes. Photo taking for proof that we actually rode our bikes. More chatter.
Newbies decided to give Connie a facial. They did not want Connie to die from her wounds. Newbies somehow managed to convince Billie to share her concentrated Tea Tree Oil. Billie is a female by the way. And we do not want to know why anyone would have a bag of facial product in their cycling bag. There was a bottle of toner, cotton swab and most likely a paper face mask as well. And we also do not know why a proper decent woman would name herself after a goat. Amelia applied the oil on Connie's wounds. My eyes grew big.Connie's eyes grew as well. I don't think Amelia likes Connie very much. The rest of the newbies clapped. I cringed... I made myself a promise to never ever fall and get hurt in front of this bunch of sadist.
49 goats. |
Away we rode. Pretty much uneventful for the next 40 minutes as we all rode and chatted back towards the car. No more riders crashing. Apple breaks done. Cake eaten. Good weather. Everyone had a smile on their face. Mummy Hen Dotty was flushed with pride on how well her chicks performed. Vivian was grinning. Annie and Ivan didn't have to watch me repair any puncture. Albert didn't need Judy to help him push his bike to the car. Dennis and Loy couldn't wait to go get their second breakfast. Shamoon was the happiest today.
He took a boy into the bush.
Un'believable.
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