Kemensah Ride Report 29th MARCH 2015

29th March 2015 KEMENSAH Ride:-

Overview of Klang Gates Dam

   This week, we are back at Kemensah. This trail has not been ridden for quite awhile due to the trail being eroded rather significantly the last time we came by. This week was a surprise. Weather which poured the day before did not wash out the trail. In fact, trail was dry as a bone. Lotsa sandy bit but otherwise rideable. The trail has recovered quite a bit. It was rather badly torn up by motorcross and ATVs the last time we came by. Now its a treat to ride.
   Back at the start point. Headcounts included 20 riders, 10 senior citizens, 1 Kwai Loh and 2 ladies. Ride briefing was ... brief. Took the Ride Director almost 40 seconds to start and finish. All i heard was, " Saddle up! Let's go. We've got lunch to chase. " Sounds like a no nonsense ride to me.
   So off we went .
   No nonsense ride this really was. The usual stops at the kampung to greet the local hens and goat was totally ignored. Fish pond regrouping struck off the list. This is gonna be a "Keep up you lazy swine..!!" kinda ride. Oh frog...

   Up the hill we went. Regrouping finally executed at the peak of the first major climb. Not to catch your breath or socialize. Group photo only. Strictly that. Then it's off we go again. The pace was relentless. Even King Kenny was caught off guard. ( Look at attached photo. We have documented proof. )

Caught red handed and documented.

   Real rest finally came at the roundabout in the jungle. Buns came out flying. Nuts were exchanged and scrutinized. Compliments paid. Insults returned. Dotty was pushed around a bit. Yellow Manta silently executed his Taichi fart again. Plenty swearing in cantonese heard. Bikes being offered for sale. Evil eyes given. A few moans heard. Some form of pleading in hokkien whispered. More buns. Ride continues.
   Into the first bit of downhill towards the dam. Rutty and greasy. Busy chasing the Kwai Loh down the ruts. Saw him highsided a few times. Nope. He did not wipe out. As much as i prayed. He stayed on his bike. Overtook a few riders sitting down in the ruts with bloody elbows. No stopping. This is a no nonsense ride after all....

   At the dam we arrived. PeteW has the widest grin. For the first time, he managed to ride down all the way. Excited man he was. He told and repeated this to 26 riders. The other 6 pretended to enjoy the view. 1 laid down and pretend to be a dead squirrel.
   Rest stop number 2. More food and insults. Dotty got shoved around the 2nd time time. Yellow Manta, well... he does what he does best. Chew his apple first, then fart. Cameras came out flying. Counted at least 18 cameras. Impressive. Feels like you are surrounded by Japanese tourist in Pavillion KL. The pudgy boys at the corner started comparing beer bellies. More swearing in cantonese heard. Kompressor starts singing Hakka songs. Riders starts walking up the trail. Can't quite blame them really. Hakka songs aren't the sexiest kind of songs you wanna hear on a Sunday morning. Especially Macarena in Hakka. I gritted my teeth when the Kompressor begins gyrating. " God help us all...."

Spot the squirrel.

   Second phase of no nonsense ride begins. Now its a relentless uphill walk all the way till we come to the river crossing. WC had trouble crossing the river. Too deep. Somehow he managed though. Good man this fella. Tries his best.He even helps the Manta to wet and wash his shoes. Pat on the back.
   More chatter at the river stop.
   More uphill walk. After that. Everything is blurry. Till we came to the doggy junction.
   3rd rest and chatter session. The same 18 cameras came out flashing.The resident 2 dogs was fed. Photos taken. Then got molested by 12 pairs of muddy hands.
   From then on. It's every man for himself. All 33 riders starts the descend back to the car.
   Good ride. Fair weather... Thumbs up.

   Now.
   The lunch bit. A convoy of cars starts heading towards the agreed lunch location. Nasi Lemak with Curry Chicken was on the menu. Ipoh Hor Fun for desserts and Heineken to wash it all down. Lunch was compliments of PeteW at his home. When this man said he enjoyed the ride. He was not joking....
   Lunch was super. Food tasty and nice. Wonderful drinks and company to chat with.  Most of the guys had 2 rounds of food. Some even had 3. One even tried to sneak the curry chicken into his Camelbak. Dotty grew a bit over lunch. CH lost a few more strands of hair. Compressor offered to sing his Macarena again. He kept quiet after seeing Tailook reach for his stick in his pants. Alberto continued chewing his chicken.

   A huge thank you to PeteW for the wonderful hospitality and for allowing a bunch of stinky old men into your home. I sincerely apologize on behalf. Rest assured, the maids will recover mentally. Give them time. No need to whip them. It's not their fault really. I would also be weeping if my boss comes home with a bunch of  hobos.
   We would totally understand if the Missus decides to burn your bike after this...

Lunch location

Unbelievable.