Ride report courtesy of the Old Manta.
Broga Ride Report:-
Dear blog master,
We failed once again in our attempt to ride Loops 1 and 4 of the Presidential at one go last Sunday. Wonder what's the secret with those dudes who completed the ENTIRE Presidential ride in 2011. Must be on some kind of buns that we are not aware of. Mind you I was carrying a bagful of buns as usual but.....
The Korean came with a secret, if dated weapon for this folly, I mean, ride. A 90s technological wonder with skinny tubes, a pretentious fork and barely working V brakes with a firm end. People call it a hardtail, I think. But it weighs only 10% of the Korean's weight. As a result of which we frequently see him dashing up all the hills with unfair power-to-weight ratio advantage. Even almost overtaking the ride leaders. And here we are not talking about our run-of-the-mill ride leaders. It was THE Ride Director himself, no less. Our English Nose made a surprise appearance, after an absence of more than 4,380 days. So nostalgic to be listening to a pre-ride briefing from him after all this while left to our own devices in the wilderness.
But the bloody Nose is still fit as ever. Seems like the Korean, he has his secrets too. He trains in Kiara well before anyone wakes up, basking in the fact that he's riding Kiara as much as he can before the whole damn place is fenced up and all the trails become paved roads to high-end bungalows in the not too distant future.
Officially our Charlie Foxtrot (Choy!!) was ride leader as only he knows all the 'nipples' and 'vagina' in Loop 1. But to quote him, this time the trail has become a lot more 'hairy' and 'bushy' through neglect. Even the 'vagina' looked out of shape. Most of us thought it looked more like an asshole filled with gooey stuff that we had to get off and daintily carry our bikes over.
For goodness sake, we couldn't even complete Loop 1 itself, where we had to endure a terribly long, 'hairy' and bushy uphill. At the top of which all 12 of us could only throw ourselves onto the ground. No, wait a minute. Not the English Nose. He was busy going from tree to tree. We thought he needed to find the best spot to pee. But he was actually looking for the spot with the best phone reception. Maybe he had to report to the missus.
We emerged from Loop 1 at the Kg Kapal junction. This cut out several kilometres of climbing. Phew! From there we were supposed to head for the Chinese temple. At this point, Tan Sri Bok, Albert and Anthony decided to drop out and took a 12km road ride back to the cars. Silly folks. Could have cut that by half if they had followed us to the temple. Haha...
The stalls at the temple provided great respite from the heat. Debate started about cutting out of Loop 4 at the Rabbit Farm. The English Nose who knows Loop 4 better than anyone suggested the possibility of cutting out at the Chicken Farm. That would be more appropriate for chickens who wouldn't want to tackle that last big climb.
So off we went hitting the loop with whatever energy left. At the Rabbit Farm Charlie bought us 100 Plus perhaps to bribe us into taking his offer to do the last big climb. For some reason our friend was very energised that day. Don't know if it was anything to do with all the nipples and vagina in Loop 1. Thanks for the drink, mate. But when we hit the point where the turnoff to the Chicken Farm is, somehow everybody headed for the farm and not the big climb. KY Chan had the biggest smile here while Vincent Chin was most disappointed, having prepped himself for the big climb. He should be thankful to the pack seeing as this was his first time riding Loop 4.... I was equally disappointed with these guys, ahem.
As always, when riding Broga or Semenyih, nothing beats the tilapia fish post-ride. Not even those lovely single tracks or Charlie's nipples and vagina, which I got to admit was much fun to ride.
Cheers
Yellow Manta
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