Kemensah Hash Report from the Old Cock Pete...

No-Pain-No-Gain at Kemensah.

Suddenly I was not only reminded that I had a dog. But also that I hadn’t taken it out for a walk in a long long time too. A mixed breed aka mongrel that most locals would call a pariah dog. One of 3 surviving offspring's of a stray mongrel bitch that chose to give birth at my neighbour’s porch back in 2006. As all puppies go, it looked kinda cute when small and my daughter wanted so much to ‘adopt’ one of them. White in colour with black patches here and there, and especially around both eyes, it looked kinda like Sylvester Stallone and so we named him Rocky. And as it outgrew its cuteness and started to look every inch the mongrel that it is, it became my dog. Nowadays my daughter hardly venture 2 feet near it.

Rocky the Mongrel

   It all began with the 1^st ‘killer’ climb of the day. From a distance, I could already see the long line of riders slowly walking their bikes up this incredibly steep laterite path next to a new housing development. This was the trail head after a warm up riding through the Melawati housing estate. Unker Danny was standing at the bottom chatting with KY ‘Jelly’ Chan when he saw me joining the crowd slogging up the hill. Except for maybe 2 handfuls of ‘ang mohs’ at the front of the pack who actually rode this thing, I believed everyone disembarked and walked.

   I actually lost count of how many steepies we had to get off and walk the bike, but when the 1^st of the rewards came, I thought it kinda made walking the dog, I mean, the bike worthwhile. First downhill was a very rutted descent. Initially I followed the line chosen by Sherman but when he stalled at a rut, I shot pass him and fixed my eyes on KY ‘Jelly’ Chan’s bottom next, all the way to the bottom where we decided to stop and wait for the rest, especially Dorothy, who was still recovering from a major tumble down a steep slope at the Office last Sat. Somehow the lady must have been enjoying the downhill so much that she didn’t even see the whole bunch of us waiting there by the trail!

   The ride reconnected to the usual entry point of our rides in Kemensah. Again another climb (but this one rideable) before we turned right towards Kuala Silih. Not been here in a long time but the trail looks great. The paper led to a left turn across some fishing ponds before we found ourselves at an orchard and another massive climb in the open! Time for another break. Gerard ‘Cha Lat’ Tan took the opportunity to adjust his shock under a tree. Was riding his Blur XC and not LT for a change. Thought the lighter bike would make the suffering less but it didn’t seem to make much of a difference for him. Just as painful.

   The long push up the orchard eventually brought us back to the ‘roundabout’ up in the hills before taking us up yet 2 more short hills into the bamboo-shrouded trail. This was where the ‘longies’ merged with us ‘shorties’ for a great blast downhill back to the cars. But before that, another short but steep and rocky climb. That was when I witnessed some incredible riding by the ‘ang mohs’ who had just finished riding the extra loop for the long. They made it look like it was so easy to ride up the hill. Somehow I think God designed the ‘ang mohs’ for riding bicycles.

   At the pre-ride briefing the hares refused to provide ride distances for some reason. As it turned out, the short that we rode was barely 15km but it felt like 50km with all those darn hills. At the top of one, the hares even had the humour to tie a squawky rubber chicken next to the sign pointing in the direction of the short ride. I had a good time here squeezing the chick….

Choi!! was the only daring one amongst us PCC crowd who signed up to ride the long. In fact he rode slightly longer than the long, no thanks to 2 chaps who pointed him (intentionally or otherwise) down the wrong slope!

   Another one of those no-pain-no-gain ride. Not riding this weekend as it’s time to head back to the hometown for Ching Ming again. But if you guys are keen to still sneak in a ride, do join me at Kiara on Sat morning!

Ride Report courtesy of Yellow Manta.

18th March Ride Putrajaya

 Last Sunday was a wash out again. This time, it was the Old Cocks to blame. Instead of just being Old Cocks. they have decided to be Lazy Old Cocks. Seems all the Old Cocks had something to do. One had to go back to his hometown for milk. Another Chickens to attend to. The rest decided it was more convenient to just roost for this Sunday. I am hoping they dont make a habit out of this. There is a good reason why we Klang natives never keep Old Chickens for long. Here, we are more practical with many things. old chicken makes good soup. Thats about all they are good for. However ways you want to argue, that is what we do with Old Roosters here.
   I was left all alone. Thought i will end up all alone this Sunday up some god forsaken hill. Out of the blue, came the Umno Youth to my rescue. So it was me and the 2 Brownie headed to Putrajaya Park for Sunday. Sounds like a plan...
   Met up for breakfast at HICOM 0715hour. 3 clowns. 3 coffee and 3 roti telur. Chit chat... Took off for Putrajaya as planned at 0815hour. On schedule, thumbs up. Looks like this Sunday was going to turn out fine and dandy. Happy me...
   Arrived at start point 0840hour. Unloaded the bikes. Normal routine follows. More chit chat. Comments about how dirty and ugly each others were. So much has changed since we started biking donkey years ago. Back then, it was always a clean shining bike on every Sunday morning. Religiously. No such thing as a speck on dirt on anyone's bike except for Ralf the Nazi. That fella is an exception. He thinks a dirty bike is an enviromental badge of honor. Makes him feel like he is a WWF honorary member. He also thinks its cool to be organic. We all know he is just plain lazy. But with him being a guest and us being Asians. Of course we do the Asian thing. We smile and give him the thumb, some thumbs may be longer . Some looks like a finger.
   Putrajaya Bike Park... nice. Short technical ups and downs. Sweet...
   Ran into a bunch of friends from Klang at the start point. Decided to be a bike whore. Shamelessly joined them for the ride. Took off into the hills. Counted about 10 riders. Saw Simon Teh the elusive. Still has the best looking bike. The dude still rides. Thumbs up.

   Went off into the trails. Trail condition perfect. Shaded bits. Damp ground. Spotted some parts that is wearing out. This happens when there is too many riders doing it week in week out. Nonetheless, still wonderful to be riding the trail again after so long. Was dissapointed though. None of the Brownie threw up this time. The last we came, we caught a roti canai shower right after the first climb up to the pondok. No such luck this time around.

   The ride was good. All in all. We managed 3km of riding in total. Yep, you read correctly. All 3km of sweat. Well more sweating from sitting down arguing whose bike was dirtiest actually. Nonetheless, it was 3km...

   It was off to the warung for another round of coffee after that. Ride started at 0900hours. Finished 1.2km of Trail riding. Caught 1.8km of Tarmac dowhill towards the car. 3km total. Ride completed at 0945hours. 4 rounds of coffee each. I really think we got high from caffeine instead of the dowhill.

   Blame the Old Cocks i say....

Broga Ride Report... Battle of the Bulge

The Battle of the Bulge (also known as the Ardennes Offensive and the Von Rundstedt Offensive to the Germans) (16 December 1944 – 25 January 1945) was a major German offensive (die Ardennenoffensive), launched toward the end of World War II through the densely forested Ardennes mountain region of Wallonia in Belgium, hence its French name (Bataille des Ardennes), and France and Luxembourg on the Western Front. The Wehrmacht's code name for the offensive was Unternehmen Wacht am Rhein ("Operation Watch on the Rhine"), after the German patriotic hymn Die Wacht am Rhein.
There are several American names for this battle. The first was the description given to the way the Allied front-line bulged inward on wartime news maps, which was reported in the contemporary press as the Battle of the Bulge. The battle was militarily defined as the Ardennes Counteroffensive, which included the German drive and the American effort to contain and later defeat it. Following the war, the U.S. Army issued a campaign citation for its units fighting in northwest Europe at the time. This was called the Ardennes-Alsace campaign and included the Ardennes sector (of the Ardennes Counteroffensive fighting) and units further south in the Alsace sector. The latter units were not involved except for elements sent northward as reinforcements. While Ardennes Counteroffensive is correct military parlance because the official Ardennes-Alsace campaign covers much more than the Ardennes battle region, the most popular description remains simply the Battle of the Bulge.

   But alas, it was not as dramatic as we expected. Though much similarities did occur during last Sunday's ride. It was however not similar in the military sense. With 20 riders present totalling about 900 odd years collectively, it turned out to be a battle of a different sorts. PCC being a cycling club, you would expect the battle to be about distances, gradients, river crossing and hills to be the main concern. How wrong you are...
  Only 10 minutes into the ride, we already have riders asking where the pit stop would be. For breakfast. Yep, you read correctly. 10 minutes and this question was flung out. A few wanted to stop after Kampung Kapal to get some chow. With Bulldozer leading, its either you tag along or you get abandoned. No mercy. So, off we went into Stage 2 of Prez Ride. Climb climb climb. The newbies started huffing. Grumpy Bernard was his usual self, Grumpy. Princess Lena started having trouble down south. More questions being raised about what to eat post ride. Mind you, this was 45 minutes into the ride. Off we went towards the cattle farm junction. Newbies and Princess Lena gave up below the hill going into the wild boar trail. It was Princess taking a short cut at this junction or we have to watch her leak. Not nice. The main pack went off to the wild boar trail with the promise to meet up again at the cattle farm. Dot wanted to know which is a better dish to order post ride. Claypot Tofu or Steamed Tilapia. No one could come up with any sort of agreement at the Serai Farm. Arguement carried itself all the way back to Cattle Farm junction.
   Princess Lena still holding on. No leaks so far. Well done! The 2 newbies looked refreshed. Guinness looked bored out of his mind. Like his usual self. Pit stop finally executed at this juncture. Much relief to all present.  Dot was extra chatty this Sunday. "Choose between Guiness and Kilkenny.Which is tastier?" she said. No one could come up with any convincing answer again.
   Now comes the fun part. Tarmac climb up to the palm oil estate. The newbies looked like they will leak down south for sure this time. I made a mental note. Stay in front of Princess Lena and the newbies. The pack took a break at the palm estate. Now Dot wanted to get an answer to which restaurant we will go post ride. The Bittergourd Hokkien Mee restaurant or the Karaoke singing restaurant. Hearing this, Danny looked like he wanted to leak also. Extremely chatty this one. Hmmm..kind of reminded us of the Hobbit once. That one was slightly different, that one never stops chatting. Anyhoo, off we went again, the newbies looked relieved. No one dared say a word about the upcoming climb. Ride leaders took off for the climb. Bulldozer stayed behind to accompany Yellow Manta. Please note, Bulldozer insisted that he was fine and dandy. He couldn't bear the thought of Yellow Manta marching up the hill alone. Therefore he chose to sacrifice his Sunday climb for the sake of friendship. Good man this one. If you choose to believe him that is.

   Man...that is one long climb. And i meant real long. The hill just kept coming. Victor was even spotted walking at parts of it. Thats how long the climb is. Strange thing is. With Victor marching up the bloody hill on his foot. We were still unable to catch up with him. Its no wonder they managed to conquer Malacca. This dude can march i tell you.

   Finally reached the peak. Group sat down for a break.Yellow Manta performs his Tai Chi moves again. Pay attention please. Spread your leg. Take a deep breath. Focus. Shut out all surrounding noise. Take another deep breath. Spread both your palm open wide. With your palms facing you. Chop your nuts repeatedly.

   This is where the real Battle of the Bulge actually took place. It was between Yellow Manta, Guinness, Bulldozer and Dot the Starving Poodle. She won. Everyone agrees Dot won it hands down. She had the biggest beer belly for that Sunday. We have documented proof. Danny even poked it with a stick to make sure its all organic. No cheating there. It is pure unadulterated lard. 

   That my friend, is how the events unfolded on Sunday. Lotsa hair pulling on what to eat and who has the most lard.

Winner...!!

   Of course they went for post ride lunch. Dont be silly. The group would not miss if for the world. Why else would we all show up on Sunday?

Broga Broga Broga....11th MARCH 2012

Sunday M&D Ride - Broga

 

Date: 11 March 2012 

Time: 7.45am

Meeting place: Batu 9 toll on Cheras Highway Kajang-bound. Please park at roadside (no more toll, yippie!) and we shall convoy from here to the Chinese temple in Broga. Those who know the place can meet us there at 8.15am.

Ride distance: 20-30km depending on route taken.

Ride description: A combination of tarmac, singletracks and, fireroads in plantations and secondary forest that make up parts of Loops 2 and 3 of the last Presidential. There will be a couple of big climbs. Suitable for all levels of riders as long as you have the basic fitness to tackle the ride distance.Bring your preferred trail food and tidbits for our regular stops. Mozzie spray advised.

For more info or direction, contact Danny on 013 330 3325 or Pete on 012 227 4443.