What a strange turn of events. The ride was initiated by our resident Hobbit at the beginning of the week. Despite repeated invites and messages, we only saw 4 willing participants register and commit themselves to the ride. I wasn't sure if i would join a ride where the median rider height was one inch short of five feet. I was never most comfortable being a minority. Feels weird looking down when i talk. So i kept that to meself and decided i will think about it.
Come Sunday and i thought i might just nosey up to the ride and say hello to my Hobbit buddy for a bit. Woke up, did the usual business. Loaded the bike and off i went to make up the numbers. Pretty uneventful drive. Got there right on the dot and lo and behold.....
There was easily 15 riders waiting and grinning like drunken billy goats.
I was shocked.
Then Rob the Nose drove up 3 inches to my right foot and smiled.
I did not know what to do.
Took a good 5 minutes before i came out of my daze and started making headcounts. Counted 20 riders. Whoa.... What's going on here? I even saw the old dino peeking out from the side. And Gerard. And VH. And even the blue birdman. Halloween went past ya? Why are all these godforsaken characters here ? On a quiet Sunday morning... How odd.
Borky said something. Everyone smiled. Off we went.
300 meters into the trail. The Nose decided he needed to speak to his rear brakes. 100 meters later he stopped to lecture it sternly. Another 100 meters and things came to a complete stop.
Me being the nosey one decided to stop and stare.
"Umm... Pat. Would you by any chance have any spare brake fluids? I think i am short of it. Rear brakes are bonking out. Can't seem to make it do any stopping today."
Ummm... i was undecided. Should i attempt to reason with this fella or just slap him across the face?
Why would he think i will be carrying spare Shimano Mineral Brake Fluid?
I decided to be civil and i smiled. Then i attempted to slap him. Missed the chance as he bent down to search for fluid on the wet muddy ground. The Nose started giving the brake a nose job. Stripped everything out from the caliper. Then took out a spare set of brake pads with rubber bands melted onto it. Started carving the brake pads and mumbled something in cantonese. I could only watch in silence. He had a knife with him. I could not for the life of me smile or shake my head in disbelief.
After 20 minutes of fiddling with his rear end, up came the old Dino. Seems he was lost. Pointed him in the correct direction and off he went. We started packing up all the tools. Not 5 minutes later, the old Dino showed up again. Told us he is not feeling so good in the nuts and wanted to abandon the ride. Pointed him in the direction to return to the car and off we went.
In silence we rode. Not a squeak as we tried to overtake a poodle and 3 hikers. 15 minutes of climbing up the hill and we spot the same old Dino right in front of us.
Huh?
Looked at each other and decided to take our chances.
" Is that you Jason?? Why are you here? Weren't you headed out to the car??..."
It seems he got lost again. And by some miracle, ended up on a hill in front of us. And he did not even see the bloody poodle. Told him it was probably best for him to follow us all the way to the hut. At the very least , we could use him as an excuse for being so far behind.
Arrived at the regrouping point. Tried our best to explain exactly what happened. Not one person believed me. They were unconvinced for a good 14 minutes. Then the proof came.A poodle was what it took for them to believe me. I wanted to strangle the little rat.
After the obligatory photo sessions, off we went towards Serenity. Dino took the other way back towards the car. Fairly smooth riding all the way towards the junction of Sahabat where we waited to regroup. Backmarkers came and off the Leader Bork went. With the rest tagging along quietly.
Grouchy took one crank of his bike and the bike stopped in protest. Refuses to move. Grouchy tried talking to it, after watching Rob doing this earlier. Tried again. Bike remains steadfast. Shook it a bit. We were getting a bit amused watching this circus act. Grouchy bow and offered the bike a branch. No change.
The Nose decided this what getting nowhere. Stepped in and politely told the Grouchy that offering a flimsy branch to a bike with the chain stuck between the sprocket and spokes will not work.
"Oh..."
Took the 4 of us a good 30 minutes and a lot of swearing in Cantonese.
Well, i didn't wanna kick Rob in the butt. So i decided to do the right thing and cut short me ride. Took a quiet leisurely ride back towards the car. Arrived at the car, packed up and off we went to Subaidah for the after ride drinks. This time around, lunch would be served for free. Compliments of Grouchy's bike.
Lovely Sunday ride indeed.
Un'believeable.
Photos courtesy of Nat.
