21st FEB 2016 Putrajaya Twilight Zone

Putrajaya Challenge Park plus Kampung Ride:-

   0815 hours, the roll call for this Sunday's ride in Putrajaya. Counted the usual suspect present except for the so called Ride Director / Tailook. Got the Manta worried not seeing the Ride Director at the start point. Manta decided to give him a quick buzz to see if he got lost or decided to go elsewhere. Short conversation and some soft cursing in Hainanese was all i saw and heard.

   " The bugger is not coming, he was still asleep when i called. All i heard was something to the effect of  ' Not right now,...Please wait... I am still holding it up for you. Bend back a wee bit more...'."

   Manta felt so violated. He was asking me if i had any water to wash his phone. Never have i seen such utter disgust reflected on an old man's face. And all this was taking place on a holy Sunday morning. Such is the sad state of society we live in now. All i could do was pat the Manta gently on his shoulder and tell to execute his Ball Chopping Taichi move to help him gain some relief.

Counting ducks...

    With no other candidate in sight to sucker around, the Manta was unceremoniously elected as the Ride Leader for the day. We did not do any head count. The numbers always end up wrong whenever the Manta counts. Best to let it be. It has and always will be such. He was a banker not a mathematician.
   CH and me was somewhat decided to be the sweeper for the day by somebody.
   Just right before we could start, someone came by and told us the PCP Park was off limit for the day. Turns out the Park Rangers were doing pest control exercise for the day. Wild boars were multiplying out of control, therefore the Rangers had to take control to ensure some form of sanity prevails. Now, that puts things into perspective... I knew Tailook must have had a very solid reason not to show up for the ride. Survival instinct is a very natural thing.

   So off we went without any headcount.

   Tarmac grinding up till the back entrance of the horse ranch and into the single track we went. Under 3 bridge we rode. Jason Junior decided to do a head dive under the second bridge. Came out from it looking like a Vietcong, muddy and dusty. Gave us a thumbs up and saluted his two riding buddies with his third finger. Must be good friends these 3 fellows. On we went chasing ducks by the crystal clear river running alongside the single track.
   Morning sun and beautifully crafted out single tracks for the next 30 minutes. It was so lovely The Portugeese decided to stop a few times to mark his territory. I counted 3 coconuts trees that he visited. Each time returning with a smile.

Ball cam.

   Into palm plantation. The first little climb up into the plantation. Like obedient lemmings we went. No questions asked. Manta was having a gala time leading us into nowhere. Mind you, he has never been here. All he had to guide us was a track log which was given to him by the absent Tailook. Blind leading the handicapped. Jason Junior started walking. His two buddies shot up the hill without looking back.
   Waited a wee bit for Jason Junior to come up walking up the bump and we decided to clearly find out  from him who suckered him into coming for this silly ride. He breathlessly blurted out "Brandon and Fei Mao...". Me and CH could only grin. I was told it was not polite to laugh, so i had to pinch CH. CH was turning red trying to hold it in.

   " How long more...? Are we almost done? The car is behind this hill right?"

   I had to pinch CH again.  

   We could not bring ourselves to tell him that we had just barely covered 10 clicks. And the trail set for the day was an easy 30 clicks. Jason Junior refused to move till we gave him assurance that his two good buddies were waiting for him up the little crest. Judy shook her head and quietly abandoned us while we were chatting him up.
   Rode the corner and Jason Junior turned green. Not the Incredible Hulk Green mind you. More of the Jabba the Hut kind of Green. He saw the climb right smack in front of him and his mouth fell open. Yep, exactly like Jabba the Hut when he swallowed the rat. I left as soon as i could.

First hill walk.

   Me and CH basically raced up the hill.
   CH caught Brandon and Fei Mao at the peak and started waving his GPS at them. All i could see from the distance was lotsa fist waving and shoulder shrugs. Fei Mao and Jason were having a round of rock and scissors to decide who would go confront Jason Junior. CH had a tough time trying to convince them that Jason Junior is basically harmless at this moment. In his weakened state, it is actually very safe. Just stay a couple of inches from his reach and you will be fine. You won't get chewed up if you watch him closely. That's how cavemen brought down a woolly mammoth. It worked then, it will work now.
   In the end, the guest riders from Cheras got tired of watching and decided to step in and take matters into control. Two Cheras rider bravely went down the hill and helped drag Jason Junior up. Brandon and Fei Mao still couldn't decide on how many rounds of rock and scissors actually decides the winner. Judy and Alberto ran out of patience and left us once again. CH was having a horrid ear ache from hearing Manta repeatedly asking where we monkeys were over the walkie.

Ball cam 2.

   Gave Jason Junior as much time as he needed to recover his strength and sanity. I offered him a coconut bun. He refused it. CH offered him a drink. He also refused that. One guy offered him a cigarette. He also refused that. His two buddies sat right next to him, quiet as a mouse can be. Brandon only smiled and grinned when he was sure Jason Junior wasn't looking. At times like this, the only correct thing to do is by being discreet and polite.

   After the infinite time of hearing Manta asking us to stop monkeying around and come up to the main group. We somehow managed to get Jason Junior up on his feet and continue walking. We finally made it  back to the main group. A couple of guys came over to pat Jason Junior and gave him some words of encouragement. One guy checked and made sure Jason Junior wasn't over heating or blew a gasket.
   Had a quick break and off we went towards the peak of the hill to take more photos with Borky's ball mounted camera. Jason Junior switched to screen saver mode. In silence we marched on.
   Waited for CH and the back markers to come up the climb. CH came up grinning like a chimp whom just found a pile unclaimed bananas.

   " So where is the back markers?"
   " Oh... We might have to wait a while..."
   " Huh? Wait somemore? Manta will be screaming at us over the walkie again...Wait for what?"
   " Remember Jason ? He decided to lie down."
   "Oh."
   " Nothing to worry really. His is not alone. His two buddies are accompanying him."

   The walkie chattered non stop for the next half and hour. We were lucky really. Me and CH both do not understand one bit of Hainanese.

Retired and hyper.

   Finally managed to regroup again and off we went, in hopes of locating the main group. After 20 minutes of wondering around, we finally found the old folks squatting down admiring Borky's ball mounted camera. Manta approached Jason Junior and clearly explained to him why he is in this predicament. It is because of poorly placed trust. Nothing to do whatsoever with him being unfit and having to ride 30 clicks of mtb trails.
 
   " First thing you should learn in mountain biking is. Never ever trust your cycling buddies. All of us here knows that. All of us here are not really friends. Any one of these fellas here will snatch any chance to put me or anyone else here into your shoes. And watch you suffer. With a smile of course..."
   "So, from now on, choose your friends wisely...."

   Took a break and off we went again. Down a rutted downhill section and into plantation tarmac. We have covered almost 20 clicks so far. Nice.
   Waited at the top of the first tarmac climb to regroup the back markers. It was another 20 minutes before the two evil ones came up and proudly declared with a smile.

   " Done. It is all over now. We don't have to wait for Jason Junior anymore. We can go now."

   Me and CH went cold for awhile. I thought they were friends. I looked at CH and we realized we had no other choice but to ask. How else were we gonna answer when Manta starts asking questions? All of us knows how unreasonable Manta can be when he realizes we left a good man behind with an expensive carbon full suspension bike. Such a waste of a good bike...

   " Uh... What exactly happened to Jason?"
   " Oh. He is on his last few breathes already. He clearly told us to go ahead and come back later to this spot to retrieve whatever is left of him. We have marked the location. No worries. We have WAZE."

   What can me and CH say?

   So off we went.
   Hence, the reason for this blog. If something goes wrong with the retrieval of Jason Junior, this blog is to safeguard and absolve me and CH from any ongoing or prevailing actions of the law. We tried to reason with Brandon and Fei Mao. They were adamant on continuing with the ride. By hook or by crook, they were determined to finish the ride. Alberto was witness to it. His mouth was wide open from shock upon hearing it.

   " What is happening to this world? "

  With a bit more of reluctant wondering around and climbing down one bridge. We finally managed to reconnect back to the track log and find our way back towards the car. Another 45 minutes of grinding and we were back at the car park. Brandon and Fei Mao packed up in a blink of an eye an drove off without speaking to anyone.

Ball cam3.

   Manta was waiting for us by the kerb when we arrived. I quickly approached him and explained in detail on why we took so long and how those two decided to abandon their comrade behind to the mercy of nature. Manta took a long look at both them, turned towards me and said...

   " So now where do we go for lunch...?"

   'Unbelievable...